


it's damn slippery out there

by 1helluvabutler



Series: the differences of sk8ter boys and sk8ter men [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged up characters, Fluff, M/M, Minor Angst, figure skater!Killua, hxhbb, ice skater!au, just a bit, mentions of injury, skating talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-11 14:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7055908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1helluvabutler/pseuds/1helluvabutler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you get when you cross a prodigy figure skater with someone who knows nothing about figure skating? Killua wasn’t sure, but he really hoped the answer was a date.  </p><p>a.k.a. the fic where Killua finds out there’s more than one way to fall at a skating rink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ITS DONE. FUCKING DONE.
> 
> for the hunterxhunter big bang 2016

Practicing at the rink after official closing hours always felt surreal to Killua, no matter how many times he had done it before. The projectors beaming their blinding spotlights onto the glistening ice, the rows and rows of empty plastic seats waiting for their audience, the music blasting through his headphones loud enough to drown out the sound of his own skating: it all made him feel weird, like he was sealed off from the rest of the world.

He glided forwards, skates leaving white lines onto the already scuffed-up ice. A double Axel turned him into a blur of movement; he landed and curved forward, inwardly begging his painful legs to carry him to the end.

A bit slow, but otherwise Killua felt like he was doing awesome so far.

5.

The music in his headphones dimmed; he would probably have to do something with the lighting in the actual program during this part to wow the judges. Fireworks, maybe?  A spotlight?

4.

The arena was silent except for the sharp slap of metal against ice and the hum of machinery, the two noises still managing to drown out the sound of his labored breathing. Killua was pretty sure that someone in the audience would find the sight pretty creepy.

3.

The air was cold,  the chill of it burning his lungs and nose.

2.

Killua jump- shit, no, tri- no, no, he was already falling backwards instead.

Shit, fuck, _shit_ , his mind supplied helpfully as the ice came up to meet him and pain flashed throughout his tired body.

Killua lay flat on his back and stared up at the ceiling high above him. Then, ignoring the aches of protest from his lower half and left elbow, he maneuvered himself into a sitting position, pulled his iPod out of an inner pocket and tapped it to make his music stop. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, undoing his ponytail; it had been an hour-and-half already and his body was already whining for a rest he wasn’t really planning on giving it. Even so, he allowed himself to sit on the ice for another minute before getting up with a loud groan. He _really_ didn’t want do it again, but it _was_ a Tuesday, so he had pledged to start figuring out his program in 20 second sequences instead of just practicing jumps or spins like he usually did. Still groaning, Killua tied up his hair and made his way back to his starting point; a flick of his fingers started the music and he was off again.

Today _sucked_.

* * *

 

“Leorio!”

Said man looked up from his papers just in time to see a spiky-haired teenager launch himself at Leorio with a blinding smile. With a startled ’ _ack’_ , Leorio dropped his clipboard exactly as two arms enveloped him in a crushing hug. Despite the pain in his ribs, Leorio felt his mouth turn into a grin threatening to split his face as he cackled happily. “Gon!”

The teenager let out a little laugh and finally let go to step a tiny bit back. Leorio took the chance to observe him: the last time he had seen Gon, the kid had barely been up to his chest. Now, almost 3 years later, it was weird to call him a kid anymore. Gon was still a bit shorter than him, which wasn’t unusual considering Leorio’s height, but he was broader, more muscled. The baby fat in his face had mostly melted away, giving him a strong jawline and chiseled features. But despite all the changes, Gon’s brown eyes still held the same cheerful sparkle of curiosity Leorio remembered well.

“Geez, I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow!” Leorio said breathlessly, bending over to pick up the fallen clipboard.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Gon replied, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. He kind of reminded Leorio of a puppy, a 5-foot-11-inch-musclemound puppy.

“Well you sure did, I nearly had a heart attack.”

“Ah, the downsides of old age getting to you already?” Gon teased, giggling when Leorio pulled a face and whacked him gently across the head with his clipboard. Emphasis on gently, because that heavy wooden hunk was actually pretty heavy and Leorio knew this from experience.

“Shaddup, you know very damn well I’m only 29!”

“Exactly, old!”

Gon dodged the clipboard this time.

Leorio scoffed and tucked his weapon under his arm. “When didya arrive in town? Have you seen your aunt yet?”

Gon shook his head. “Nope, I came straight here after I got off the bus! This place was closer than aunt Mito’s house, so I thought I could stop by.”

“What if nobody was here?”

“Why would there be nobody here?”

“This place is technically already closed for tonight,” Leorio raised his eyebrows as he talked.

Gon raised his own right back. “It’s not even 7PM, why are you closed?”

“We close early, okay?” Leorio threw his hands up in exasperation, forgetting all about the clipboard until it clattered onto his foot. “Ow _fuck!”_

He mumbled curses as he picked up the heavy piece of wood again, fidgeting his painful foot. Suddenly, something about the whole thing struck Leorio as odd and he went still as he looked at Gon. “Wait, how did ya even get into the building?”

Gon stared at Leorio in confusion. “I walked through the front doors? The ones with the blinking lights above the doorframe?”

“What color were the blinking lights?” Leorio knew he was scowling again, but he couldn’t help it.

“Red, why?”

Leorio swore loudly and then lowered his voice to start ranting violent threats about a certain employee; judging by his expression, apparently Gon could and did make out the phrases ‘damn guy’ and 'fucking incapable of using keys’ from his angry rambles. He cut himself off and sighed, running a hand tiredly through his hair, careful not to drop the clipboard this time.

“Alright, alright, whatever, I’ll deal with that later,” he huffed in surrender. “Where’s your bag?”

“I left it on a bench somewhere over there,” Gon pointed back towards the entrance area and Leorio sighed again, this time with a tiny hint of a smile.

“Don’t forget it later, okay?”

Gon grinned. “I won’t.” A mild noise of protest escaped the freckled teen when Leorio ruffled his hair again.

Leorio cast a look at his watch and jolted in surprise. “Shit sorry, I gotta go, I got an important call to make.”

He waved a curt 'see ya’ and started fidgeting down the hallway in the weird way he always did when he was in a hurry; but before he even made it halfway through, he turned back to add something. “Hey Gon, if you’re okay with waiting for like half an hour, we can go get some dinner at my place after this. Kurapika would probably join us too.”

“Kurapika’s here?” Gon’s eyes shone at the thought of seeing his friend after so long and Leorio was again reminded of a puppy.

“Yeah, I think he should be free tonight.” Leorio paused for a moment and added, “I mean, at least he hasn’t told me that he’s got plans.”

Gon nodded eagerly. “Okay, that sounds good! I’ll just tell aunt Mito that I’ll be a bit late.”

“Why don’t you just invite her too?” Leorio suggested offhandedly after a moment of thought.

“Really?!”

“Yeah sure! After all, it’s been a while since you saw her and I don’t want to ruin your reunion. Besides, I can totally cook enough for four people!”

Gon looked skeptical, obviously thinking about the last disastrous time the man had attempted cooking. Leorio could feel his ears turned red at the memory of his landlord lecturing them after putting out the kitchen with a fire extinguisher. The charred remains of dinner had been thrown out and Leorio was banned from cooking shrimp ever again.

“Hey, I’ve gotten better! A _lot_ better!” Leorio protested as Gon started snickering. He straightened up and cleared his throat with a cough. “Anyway, you remember the address, right?”

The teen nodded with a grin. “Yup!”

“Tell her to meet us there in, uh, maybe an hour and half? Two hours? I’m not sure how long this is gonna take, but we’ll be done as soon as we can,” Leorio shrugged apologetically. Gon waved it off, something else obviously nagging on his mind instead.

“Can I stay here, or do you want me to go home too?”

“'Course you can stay here if you want! You can even go look around the rink if you want,” Leorio offered, waving an arm airily at a pair of heavy-looking doors across from Gon. “There’s someone still there that doesn’t like visitors a lot, but I think you can go watch if you don’t really disturb him.”

Gon nodded. “Right, see you later!”

Leorio grinned back at him, until he caught sight of his watch and practically sprinted away with a panicked yelp.

 

Gon watched him leave before fishing his cellphone out of his pocket and shooting his aunt a text with the invitation and Leorio’s address, getting back an “I’ll be there!” soon enough.

There was a tiny window on one of the doors to the rink. The faint glow of light filtering through onto the hallway’s flooring caught his attention; he peered through the glass, barely making out someone moving on the ice below. Curious, Gon entered the large arena as quietly as he could and stood on the topmost landing of stairs to watch.

Currently mid-spin, the person was just a blur of black clothes, contrasted by a puff of white hair that swayed along with the quick movements. As Gon watched, they slowed down and changed position, now in a strange kind of crouch, but still spinning.; slow enough for Gon to tell the skater was a guy.

The performance was beautiful, mesmerizing, and soon enough Gon felt like he was completely sucked in to the skater’s movements, only vaguely aware that his feet were slowly moving himself closer to the stranger. Something suddenly bumped against Gon’s chest and he blinked down in surprise at the railing, confused to find himself already at the bottom of the stairs. He leaned onto the railing, watching the boy twirl and glide across the ice. Gon didn’t know any of the moves being done, but even his inexperienced eyes could tell that the guy was no beginner. The movements were magical, somehow fluid and sharp at the same time; if someone had told Gon right now that this skater wasn’t even human, he would’ve believed them without a doubt.

It took Gon a while of staring to realize it, but the stranger seemed to be practicing only a certain set of moves; he would glide around the ice for a bit before doing the same spin he had been doing when Gon walked in. From there, he would sink into a crouch with a leg extended and continue spinning until popping up and doing strange motions with his legs; he would bend and twirl his way around the rink, skates weaving pretty patterns onto the scuffed-up ice. Finally, he would always pause after doing another crouching spin, tighten his tiny ponytail, and start the whole cycle all over again.

Eventually Gon could tell the teenager had started going through the routine faster and faster as he repeated it, the scrape of his skates louder with each turn and jump. The stranger scratched to a stop and Gon barely had time to breathe easier then he tightened his puff of white hair again and set off at a speed so high, Gon was actually worried this time. Around and around the skater went, expression fierce and controlled at once. Gon felt his hands grip the railing as the skater launched himself into the air and landed with an intricate spin, stumbling for just a moment and Gon tried to pretend his stomach didn’t just lurch with worry.

It turned out he didn’t need to worry any more.

Apparently, the hiccup in his routine had finally convinced the teenager to stop, because he slowed down at a gateway, climbed off the ice and headed straight towards a black sports bag on a nearby bench. Zipping it open, he rifled through it until he pulled out a bottle. Gon watched him plop down next the bag, stretch his feet out and gulp greedily at the bottle’s contents; a full ten seconds later the empty-looking bottle was shoved back into the bag and a small gray towel was pulled out in its stead. The teen bent down and started tugging off his skates, simultaneously wiping them dry with the towel. He managed it impressively well, until he lost his balance and nearly fell off the bench, steadying himself on the ground at the last second. Gon couldn’t help the quiet snort that escaped him.

The skates were snapped into their guards and stuffed into the sports bag; a pair of long military-style boots replaced them on the skater’s feet. One last sweeping glance around himself and the stranger was up and hauling the large bag onto his shoulder; a tinge of giddiness went through Gon as he realized that to get to either the stairs or the locker-room, the skater would have to pass him first. The stranger seemed to have finally noticed Gon as well, throwing him curious looks as he picked his way through a row of seats. Gon felt a rush of excitement as he approached; he wanted to talk to him, _needed_ to talk to him, even if it was just a simple 'hi’, he wanted to say _something_ to the other.

His brain reeled frantically to find a good conversation starter, a reason to speak up as the boy turned the final corner separating them; _oh whatever,_ he decided as he straightened up to properly see the stranger’s face and _oh wow_ , Gon could have sworn his heart flat-out stopped beating for a moment.

The boy looked about Gon’s own age, but where puberty had given Gon broadness and muscle-mass, it had given him grace and a lean form that Gon could only describe as 'cat-like’. The tight black clothing was doing nothing to help distract Gon’s imagination from conjuring up strange images that he seriously didn’t need right now. White fluffy hair spilled out of a tiny ponytail and plastered strands of itself to a pale forehead, now flushed a tiny bit with exertion. His eyes were a shock of bright blue, the look in them reminding Gon of electricity as it sent a weird shudder up his spine.  'Ethereal’ was a word Gon would have used for him.

The stranger’s curious gaze was doing things to his brain-to-mouth filter and Gon kinda wanted to kick himself when he realized he had just blurted out a loud, “You’re amazing!”

Thankfully, the boy looked spooked for only a moment, recovering fast and even sending Gon a tiny smile as he passed, the tips of his ears tinging red. “Thanks.”

Gon turned to follow him, falling into step just behind his shoulder. The skater craned his head backwards to look at him quizzically. “My name’s Gon!”

Gon was observed from head to toe with a peculiar expression, the skater’s head tilted to the side just the tiniest bit imaginable. After a moment he nodded, “Nice to meet you, Gon.”

“What’s yours?”

Something that looked like surprise flitted quickly across the boy’s features at the question; it was gone before Gon was even sure it was there.

“Killua.” He adjusted the bag slung over his shoulder, ignoring the ominous crashing noise it created and the way Gon’s eyebrow rose at that. “Killua Zoldyck.”

“Killua Zoldyck?” Gon tried out the name, rolling it off his tongue comfortably.

“Yeah.”

“That’s a cool name!” he said sincerely. This time there was _definitely_ surprise written on Killua’s face; his ears turned completely red and he stumbled mid-step.

“W-what?!”

“That’s a cool name,” Gon repeated cheerfully. For some reason, the boy didn’t seem to think the same way, expression turning a tiny bit colder.

Killua undid his ponytail and sighed as he ran a hand through the freed strands. “Listen, if you want an autograph or something like that, you can just ask me without the theatrics and flattery.”

Gon blinked at him. “Why would I want your autograph?”

The skater stopped in his tracks and Gon nearly slammed into his shoulder. “I- never mind. Sorry,” he added in an awkard voice, setting off towards the locker-room again. Gon followed him.

They walked another few feet delicate silence before Killua opened his mouth this time. “How are you here anyway? I thought the rink wasn’t letting in any new customers.”

“Oh, I came to visit Leorio and Kurapika,” Gon answered, getting a curious look. “They have some kind of meeting right now, so I’m just waiting for them.”

“They friends of yours?”

“Yeah! I’ve known them for a seriously long time, but I haven’t seen them in years,” he chirped back. Killua hummed thoughtfully. “What about you, why are you here?”

The skater blinked at the question. “I have an arrangement with them, so I can technically be here for a couple of hours after closing time.”

“You come here often?”

“I guess so, yeah.”

By now, they had reached the end of the row, the skater stopping for a moment to adjust his bag again. Killua pulled out his iPod to check the time, the headphone cords still attached and dangling out of the neck-hole of his shirt. He scowled at whatever was on the screen and turned to Gon. “Listen, I should go now, I still gotta change clothes and catch a bus.”

“O-oh, right, sorry,” Gon said awkwardly, staying in the same spot when Killua went to yank open the locker-room door. He paused to look back at Gon, one hand clutching the handle.

“But if you do come visit your friends here sometimes, well then I just might see you around,” Killua said, sending Gon a grin that made his chest fill with warmth.

“R-right.”  Gon internally kicked himself for stammering again. Oddly enough, the other seemed to find it amusing and he nodded at Gon one last time before disappearing through the door. Gon stared at the heavy slab of colorful plastic for a full minute.

“Fuck."  The word echoed mockingly in the empty arena.

He was so screwed.

* * *

 

The very second the locker-room door clicked shut behind him, Killua stumbled over to the nearest bench and flung himself down, burying his reddening face into his thighs.

God _damnit._

He had sensed someone watching in the stadium, but he hadn’t had enough time or movements to spare to actually see who it was until he stepped off the ice. He had decided to ignore the person, let them come to him instead, so he had sitten on the bench and started his usual skate-care routine. But whoever it was stayed where they were, so Killua had snuck a peek while he wiped, expecting Leorio’s grumpy face or Kurapika’s shock of blond or maybe even Hisoka’s lecherous mug.

Instead, he found the most _adorable_ guy staring at him with curious eyes. Killua had nearly fallen off the bench in shock. As he had worked, Killua kept an eye on the stranger as well as he could, taking in the toned skin and spiky hair, the way that stupid-looking green hoodie was unzipped to show off a glorious muscled figure underneath that Killua secretly wanted to run his hands over.

And _fuck_ it hadn’t helped at all when the guy had gotten closer; because then, Killua could see the deep golden-brown glimmer of his eyes, the faint smatter of freckles across the bridge of his nose and oh my _shit_ this guy was even more ripped than he seemed from a distance. It had taken every ounce of strength he had had to keep his face straight and not blush and gawk when the first thing out of the stranger’s mouth had been a compliment and an introduction.

Still, the guy was probably a fan that had snuck in to see him. Killua didn’t deal with fans. Most of the Zoldyck family members had a ton of fans and Killua had been taught first hand from an early age the pros and cons of having herds of people adore you. It was fun at first, but it got tiring pretty quick. So now he just tried to avoid fans as much as he could, even going far enough to striking a bargain with the owners of an ice rink to use it after official hours.

Which was why Killua tried to steel his heart and act professional like his family had taught him to; the confusion had been obvious in the freckled boy’s face when Killua gave his name and offered him an autograph.

This guy hadn’t recognized him. Hadn’t even recognized his _name_ for fuck’s sake and excuse him for sounding vain, but Killua thought _everyone_ around here knew the Zoldyck name. Maybe, just _maybe_ , there was a chance that this guy _actually_ did know nothing about Killua, about his family, about his fame. If that was true, then Killua _really_ should have asked for his number or e-mail or _something_ , instead of just running off like that. Now, there was no way to know if he would ever see him again.

Gon.

Killua shoved his burning face back into his thighs. God _damn_ he didn’t need this at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk, fluff??

While Killua _had_ told Gon that he would ‘see him around’, he hadn’t been expecting the teenager to actually show up to his practice session _the very next day._ But there he was, perking up from his slouch as soon as he saw Killua entering the arena. Gon waved at him cheerfully as Killua made his way closer, sitting in the row of seats behind the skater’s regular bench.

“Back so soon?” Killua slumped onto his bench and started undoing his boots. Gon nodded in his peripheral vision.

“Your skating is amazing, so I came to watch again,” he said matter-of-factly, before quickly adding, “if that’s okay with you.”

Killua waved a dismissive hand, the other one still dealing with his laces. “Sure, I don’t mind. As long as it’s only you here and not extra hoards of people you decide to bring along.”

“No, only me. I wouldn’t bring anyone else here anyway, I’m pretty sure Leorio would get super mad if I did.”

Killua laughed, fingers already swiftly pulling on his skates. “He does earn money from official visitors after all. It took me a lot of convincing to get him to let me practice here after closing instead of during the actual hours.”

“Why after closing?”

“To avoid people,” Killua answered lightly. Finished with the skates, he straightened himself to stretch forward as much as his back allowed him, and then down to his feet. He could feel the freckled teenager’s gaze on him, following his actions and Killua nearly snorted. Looks like this guy was just a simple fan after all.

“How often do you come here anyway?” Gon’s tone from behind him sounded genuinely curious, breaking the skater from his thoughts.

“Every day except Sunday.” Killua’s voice was muffled a bit by his knees. He grimaced at the floor as he felt pops emit from his spine.

“Seriously? That much?”

“I gotta practice to keep in shape, and I don’t like doing evening practices in the rink near my house.” Killua straightened up with a soft grunt and twisted around to look at Gon. “So I come here instead.”

“Practice for what?”

Killua blinked dumbfoundedly. Either Gon was a very convincing actor (which he kinda doubted), or he actually _was_ clueless about the Zoldyck name and therefore, Killua. But that was too good to be true.

“Competitions and stuff like that,” he finally said, eyeing Gon suspiciously.

Now it was Gon’s turn to blink in bewilderment. “Wait, you compete in skating? Like, actual competitions?”

“Yeah?”

“Whoa, that’s so cool!”  Gon exclaimed and Killua could practically _feel_ the waves of excitement radiating from him.  "Are you famous?”

“I guess so, yeah; my whole family is pretty famous around these parts,” Killua shrugged, trying to look bored with the idea while his mind raced towards the worst conclusion. Gon would stop acting like he did, the genuine warmth of their conversations would-

“So if you’re practicing, does that mean you have a competition coming up?“

“Wait, that’s it? That’s all you’re gonna ask? No “ _do a jump”_ , or “ _can you take a picture with me so I can post it online“?_ “  Killua was stunned. “Nothing?”

Gon cocked his head to the side. “Well, yeah, it would be pretty awesome to see you do jumps and get a picture with you, but not because you’re famous. I would take a picture with you just because you’re you!”

God, this guy didn’t just _look_ amazing, he _was_ nice too, what the _hell_.

“No but really, when’s your next competition?” Gon asked, crossing his arms and leaning them onto the barrier.

The skater thought for a moment. “Almost exactly three months from now, _The Kukuroo Cup_. Why?”

“Could I come watch you if I wanted to?”

Killua could feel his face going scarlet. “W-well I mean- yeah, if you wanted, but you’d have to buy a ticket first,” he stammered out, turning back around to hide his blush. This guy was  just unbelievable.

Gon interrupted the moment with a sudden sneeze. He wiped his nose with a bitter expression, sending Killua an accusatory look when the Zoldyck grinned at him. "Don’t you get cold here?”

Killua shrugged. “Not really, I’m pretty used to it. But it is pretty nice to buy hot drinks here during the winter months.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, hot chocolate is awesome when the rink gets so cold you can actually see your own breath.” Killua laughed when Gon stuck his tongue out with a disgusted expression. “You don’t like the cold?”

“I like it, I’m just bad with it,” Gon said, shrugging his green hoodie closer to himself. Killua kinda wanted to rip the ugly thing off and replace it with something better. Another time maybe, he thought to himself as he checked the time and discovered he was already behind his schedule.

“Alright, I’ll talk more later. I mean, if you even want to hang around that long,” he added quickly, inwardly delighted when Gon’s face lit up and he nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, sure! I’ll wait!”

The chirp of confirmation was all Killua needed to grin and head onto the ice, heart thumping wildly in excitement.

* * *

 

"Killua, over here!”

Killua swung around to see Gon standing in his usual spot, holding up two paper cups Killua recognized as the ones from the coffee shop across the street. He grinned and skated over, accepting the offered drink over the barrier. Popping the lid off, he took a few moments to savor the heavenly aroma invading his nose before actually opening his eyes and giving both the beverage and Gon an appreciative look.

“Hot chocolate with marshmallows. And,” Killua paused to sniff the drink, “vanilla-hazelnut syrup?”

Gon grinned at him. “Killua’s got a sharp nose.”

Killua leaned carefully onto the railing, grinning back. “Years of practice. My sister wants to start up her own coffee shop one day so she’s been mixing different flavors together for me to try ever since we were little. She’s gotten really good at it after she started copying some of the stuff my little brother did.”

“She sounds nice.”

“She is,” Killua said fondly. Alluka really had tried to do her best, but Kalluto had been the one to finally teach her some of the tricks of coffee-making. At Killua’s request, but still.

“You said 'little brother.’ Do you have any more brothers?” Gon asked curiously, stirring his own drink that smelled an awful lot like an almond latte drizzled with chocolate syrup.

Killua cocked his head and blew gently on his drink before answering. “I’ve got a sister and three brothers, so there’s five of us altogether. Illumi, Milluki, Kalluto, Alluka and me,” he said, ticking down a finger with each name. Gon let out a low whistle and Killua hummed in agreement. “What about you? Any siblings?”

Gon shook his head at that. “Just me and aunt Mito. And my dad too I guess. Even though he’s always somewhere adventuring.”

Awkward silence stretched between them. Killua breathed easier when Gon broke it, voice tinged with its usual happiness. “Killua, your hot chocolate is gonna be a cold chocolate if you don’t drink it soon.”

Oh yeah, _right_ , Gon had gotten him a drink. The skater finally took a sip and sighed happily as the amazing flavors of rich chocolate flooded his mouth. Chimera Ant Café was a creepy place with creepy workers, but he couldn’t deny that the drinks they made there were fucking phenomenal. He took a few more swallows, appreciating the warmth starting to spread through his body.

“So, how much do I owe you for this?”

Gon shook his head lightly and drank his coffee. “Nothing, it’s my treat.”

Killua blinked in surprise, the strange flutter in his chest making an appearance again. “What, why?”

“Just because! You said you get cold here sometimes, so I got you something to warm you up!”

The skater chugged his chocolate before jabbing a finger at Gon and answering, “I also said that that usually happens during winter, didn’t you hear that?”

The tips of Gon’s ears turned red with embarrassment. A strange sound escaped his throat before he shook his head and spoke. “Listen, I wanted to buy you this hot chocolate, so I bought you this hot chocolate! You don’t have to pay me anything, Killua!”

Killua stared at Gon. A spark of heat that had nothing to do with the drink went up his spine, warming him from head to toe. Or, toe to head in this case. “You sure?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright then,” Killua flashed a small smile at him and tipped the cup back to catch the last dregs of his drink. “But I’m buying you something next time.”

Gon beamed as he accepted Killua’s empty cup and watched him skate back to the middle of the rink to resume practice.

* * *

 

Within a week, Killua had to admit that their first accidental meeting had morphed into an comfortable everyday routine; Killua would arrive at the rink around 6:30, Gon already waiting for him with a grin that made his heart stutter. They would chat while Killua changed into his skates and stretched, Gon asking him about literally every topic imaginable, not only skating (the conversation about pigmy marmosets playing chess had gotten dangerously heated and they had both wordlessly agreed to never, ever talk about it again).

He was usually quiet when watching Killua practice; or maybe Killua just couldn’t hear him through his earbuds. He knew that Gon sometimes let out shouts of excitement when he saw the skater do an impressive stunt; he had glimpsed pure awe on that freckled face more than once. For some reason, the childish glee spurred Killua forward instead of making him roll his eyes like he normally would. Which he found weird as fuck.

When they talked, Gon acted like every single tiny thing he found out about the skater was amazing, whether it was how Killua liked to play video games (cross-legged and on the couch) or what kind of snacks were his favorite (anything with chocolate, especially the robots). Killua didn’t even have to feign interest with Gon; everything he found out made him want to know more about the freckled teenager.  Again, something Killua found weird as fuck.

Being around Gon made him feel weird as fuck in general and Killua wasn’t sure if he disliked it.

* * *

 

“When did you start skating?”

Killua shrugged and pulled a face. “No idea. I’ve been skating ever since I can remember. We have this huge pond near our house - it’s more of a small lake I guess - and every winter most of it freezes over, so there’s almost a square mile of  ice.  And then dad makes everyone skate on it.”

“Whoa, your whole family skates?” Gon’s eyes shone with wonder.

“Well, all of them _can_ skate, but not all of them _do_ anymore. Both my dad and grandfather are retired pros and now they both work as really, _really_ expensive private trainers for some people. I think my mom did demonstrations - they’re not exactly competitions, I’ll explain later - but she had some kind of accident, so she stopped. Ever since then, she walks around completely covered in these huge, really over-dramatic bandages all the time to hide scars or something,” Killua said smugly, wiggling his fingers as if to imitate the bandages.

“But she actually healed a long time ago! She’s totally fine underneath, she told me herself that she just started loving spooking people and now she just wears them for fun,” he added hastily, seeing Gon’s horrified expression. “Anyway, enough about her, she’s not the only family member I have.”

Gon leaned forwards in his seat. “Who else is there?”

Killua hummed thoughtfully. “Well, there’s my siblings and there’s also a weird cousin that I’ve never met; Milluki doesn’t skate anymore, and he’s now kind of a shut in. Alluka is on her way to owning a coffee shop, and doesn’t do any skating at all, which she’s really happy about.

"So the only ones who actually skate more seriously now are Illumi, Kalluto, and me. Illumi mostly does pair ice dancing, I’m doing singles and Kalluto…uh…” Killua trailed off lamely, scratching his chin. Shit, what did Kalluto do?

“I’m not even sure what Kalluto exactly does, but I do know he’s involved with some kind of skating thing called 'The Phantom Troupe’. I think it does more freestyle than official competing though,” he finished with a shrug a few moments later.

“Your family sounds intense,” Gon raised his eyebrows.

Killua scoffed. “Well that’s one way to put it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the phantom troupe would absolutely do freestyle ice skating just look at this shit


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ART TIME

Killua noticed he had actually started taking breaks now.

A ten-minute break after an hour of practice had seemed like a pretty pointless thing before, so he had always let the two-and-a-half hours of evening practice blur into one whole session. The morning practice had a few breaks, sure, but that was more on the fact that his dad/coach forced him to take breaks.

But then Gon had asked him about it, and Killua couldn’t just tell that awestruck face that he never took breaks in his evening sessions anymore without feeling guilty.

And so, when he noted an hour tick down, he would go and sit on his bench with Gon in the row behind him, pretending to cool down or adjust his skates or whatever it was people did during breaks. It was nice, sitting and just relaxing for once, Gon doing his best to keep Killua entertained.

Like now, for instance, he was trying to show the skater something he had found online.

Gon held up the phone screen to Killua’s nose, an expression of pure glee on his face. “No, I swear, he really does fly!”

“Move it, I can’t see shit like this,” Killua said, swatting Gon’s arm gently to get it out of the way. Gon stuck his tongue out but complied, his elbow no longer pressing against Killua’s neck, instead resting comfortably on his shoulder. Killua felt its heat seep through the fabric and he desperately tried to concentrate on the video and not on how close Gon’s amazing bicep was to his face and how nice his clothes smelled.

Despite his best efforts, he still found himself snapping back to reality only when Gon’s rumbling laughter signaled the end of the video. The arm holding the phone was retracted and Killua turned to laugh with Gon, even though he had honestly no idea what had just happened in the video.

“Well look at this,” a familiar low voice drawled from behind them. Killua spun around to see a man with unnaturally red slicked back hair showing off a devious grin on a really pointy face. He stumbled backwards immediately, grabbing Gon’s sleeve as he did. The man merely smiled at Killua’s reaction and seemed to focus his eyes on Gon instead what the _fuck_. “The younger Zoldyck and my favorite little fruit spending time together.”

“Oh.” Gon reacted before Killua could warn him not to. “Hisoka.”

Said man grinned dangerously. “Gon.”

_What the **fuck.**_

Killua’s head whipped around to stare at Gon. “You _know_ this guy?” He jabbed a finger towards Hisoka, who ignored the accusatory tone and merely smiled. Gon nodded once, his expression unreadable.

“Yeah, unfortunately I do.”

Hisoka’s lips curled further into a strange smile that made Killua want to shudder violently. “We have met before indeed~.”

He paused for a moment, placing a hand on his hip. The movement made his shirt stretch tighter across his broad chest and for some reason Killua was absolutely certain the man did it on purpose.

“What brings you to this place? I _did_ redraw my offer the last time we met, but if you’ve really reconsidered, then maybe just~,” Hisoka trailed off suggestively, giving the freckled teenager a once-over. Killua actually wanted to punch him.

Gon smiled a polite smile that didn’t really reach his eyes. “No, my answer’s still the same.”

“A shame.” Hisoka clicked his tongue. “What brings you here anyway?”

“Watching Killua’s skating practice is cool and I get to see Leorio and Kurapika too,” Gon said, casting a sideward glance at Killua. “What are _you_ doing here, Hisoka?”

“Believe it or not, I work here,” Hisoka stated airily, nodding when Gon raised his eyebrows. “Sadly, the troupe didn’t really work out as I had planned; the boss got injured before the big fight, so there was no reason left for me to stay anymore.” He sighed, smirk drooping a bit.

“It is a pity, but there was nothing to be done at the time. So while I wait for his recovery, I fix things here. Not the most glamorous of jobs, but it is a good place to meet a lot of interesting skaters~.”

Far above them, a lightbulb sputtered and went out, dimming a part of the rink just a microscopic bit; Hisoka noticed it almost immediately, scanning the ceiling with a frown. “Ah damn, another one. Looks like I’ll have to deal with that.”

Killua very wisely left unmentioned that that lamp was the very same one he had accidentally hit with a stray shoe the day before when trying to prove a point to Gon.

Hisoka’s leer didn’t completely come back when he turned his face back to the two teenagers (mainly Gon, Killua noticed grimly), so he looked relatively normal for once as he offered them a nod and turned to leave. “Well then, I’ll see you around, Gon.”

Gon hummed instead of answering, expression still uncharacteristically cold as he stared at the retreating figure.

Killua waited until Hisoka was out of earshot to squeeze the other’s shoulder gently. “Gon? You okay?”

Gon exhaled slowly and nodded, life already returning to his eyes as he looked at Killua. “Yeah, I’m fine. He just gives me the creeps.”

Killua sighed in relief and he felt his shoulders relax. “I know exactly how you feel, ugh. How do you even know him anyway?”

Gon shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s a long story, but basically a long time ago when I was visiting, I saw him perform at some thing with a skating group called ‘The Phantoms’ or something like that. Hisoka came up later and told me he had seen me in the audience and that my body had great potential for skating. I told him I couldn’t skate, so he offered to teach me if I quote unquote ‘use my full potential to fight him’. I told him no, but it seems like after that he just keeps showing up randomly every once in a while; kinda like a stalker!”

"Dude, what the _fuck_ ,” Killua spat out, a sudden surge of disgust and anger running through him.

Gon shrugged, holding up his hands in a surrendering motion. “It’s no big deal, honestly! He’s just creepy is all.”

“Yeah, well, that  just crosses the line of ‘creepy’, doesn’t it? Someone has to teach asshole a lesson.”

“What’re you thinking, Killua?”

Gon’s brow was covered in concerned lines, and Killua poked the toned forehead playfully, his own thirst for revenge simmering down a bit. “Nothing yet, Gon, don’t fret your spiky little head about it.”

* * *

 

Killua stared at the video on his laptop screen, Gon leaning down to watch it over his shoulder. The live-feed was currently showing a spinning female skater from a couple of towns over, dressed in a tight sparkling outfit like all her other competitors. Killua had run into her a few times at tournaments, but he didn’t really know the girl well enough to consider her a friend. Didn’t mean he couldn’t cheer for her though.

The skater landed a toe loop and went on into a spin. So far, Killua hadn’t seen anything special about the girl; most of her jumps were average, she wobbled a dangerous amount when she landed (although she managed to somehow always keep her hands off the ice which Killua mentally gave her points for) and some of her connecting elements had been sloppy. But she wasn’t the worst Killua had seen either in this category, ( _the_ worst being a guy who messed up a simple toe loop in a way Killua had never even seen before and looked happy about it himself.) Sure, she would never be on a Zoldyck level, but she could have been a tough opponent if she skated with someone from her own age grou-

Nope, never mind, Killua took that back. The commentator had announced a double Lutz and the girl started with something that was not a double Lutz. The skater landed and turned, bitter expression visible for a split second before continuing with her program. Killua sucked in a disappointed breath and scowled. Gon on the other hand, made an impressed noise behind him and Killua tilted his head back enough to look at the freckled teenager.

“Why are you so happy?”

Gon gestured at the screen with a smile. “Because it was really good!”

Killua barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. It wasn’t Gon’s fault he didn’t know any better. “No Gon, it was not.”

“It wasn’t?”

The Zoldyck shook his head and Gon looked puzzled. “What was wrong with it then?”

“She started off from the wrong edge and made it a flutz.”

“…she what?”

It was at times like this that Killua was reminded of how little Gon actually knew about skating. Sighing, he set the laptop aside (now showing the skater getting off the rink with a strained face) and got up. He could feel eyes on him as he climbed onto the ice, and a weird tang of smugness bubbled up inside him when he turned back to look at Gon.

“I’m gonna show you what it’s _supposed_ to look like, maybe that’ll help. Watch my feet carefully, okay?”

Gon nodded with an expression so serious Killua nearly burst out laughing. “I will.”

_This guy_ …. Swallowing his giggles, Killua made his way to the middle of the rink. Looking back towards the stands to make sure Gon was actually watching, the skater launched himself into the air, spun around twice, and landed smoothly. Gon clapped politely, making Killua roll his eyes and yell an amused “ _Stop that!_ ” at him, even as his cheeks burned from both embarrassment and the effort of trying to hide a grin. He knew he failed by Gon’s gleeful expression.

Sobering up enough to talk, Killua cupped his hands to his mouth, making sure his voice carried all the way to Gon over the distance and the hum of the machines. “That was a failed Lutz, also called a 'flutz’!”

“How was that a failed anything!?” Gon hollered back. “It looked completely fine! You didn’t fall over!”

“Just watch the correct one now,” Killua threw up his hands in exasperation when Gon burst into laughter.

The skater did a lap and finally leapt up, a lot like before, but _not_ completely like before because Killua knew how to do a proper Lutz goddammit. And Gon better be prepared to see the difference too.

Another round of applause sounded as Killua landed and started making his way back. This time, he entertained Gon with an exaggerated bow, earning giggles and a flick on his nose when he clambered off the ice and near the bench, entering Gon’s range of reach. He grinned at Gon and flicked his cheek in return.

“So, what did you think of the actual Lutz?”

“Wasn’t it the same as the last one?”

“No!” Gon reeled back at Killua’s theatrically loud tone and raised his hands in surrender, the playful smile still on his lips. Killua squinted at him a bit skeptically.“What do you think the difference is?”

There was a pregnant pause where the skater could practically hear the gears in Gon’s head turning. “…Attitude?”

_“Footwork._ ” Killua sighed deeply and contemplated it for a second. “Okay, _maybe_ attitude too, but mostly footwork. If you wanna do a Lutz, you gotta take off from the outside edge of one foot and land on the outside edge of the other. She messed it up by starting on the inside edge. It’s a reasonable mistake and loads of people do it all the time.”  He looked over to where Gon was nodding along and humming understandingly. “Any questions?”

“What’s an edge?”

_Okay Killua, time to start smaller,_ Killua thought as he dragged a hand tiredly over his face. He sat down on the bench and pulled one of his feet into his lap, displaying the skate to Gon. He pointed to the metal part on the bottom and craned his head to see if Gon was watching, which he was.

“You see this?”

Gon nodded.

“ _This_ is called the blade. You see where it has this tiny groove thingy in the middle of it? _That_ is the 'hollow’. And _these_ ,” Killua, gesturing to every mentioned part, ran two of his fingers along the bottommost part of the skate, “are the edges. The outside edges are the ones facing away from each other and the inside edges are the ones closer to each other. So if you’re doing a Lutz, you push off with this part _here,_ ” Killua said, tapping the part in question.

“Some jumps start on an outside edge, some start on an inside edge, some use a toe pick to take off instead. That’s what makes some jumps worth more points than others and also easier to mess up.”

“But how can the audience and judges tell what edge the skater is using? Aren’t they far away?” Gon asked, leaning forward to see Killua’s hands better.

“Practice I guess. I’ve been dealing with professional skaters ever since I was born, so I picked up on it pretty early in life. But I’m sure that if you watch enough skaters, you’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

Gon hummed, a thoughtful look on his face. “So if I watch you practice every day, would I be able to tell which moves are mistakes by the time your competition comes?”

“Well, maybe. But I gotta warn you: this competition is a lot different from others, so people will be using moves you’ve never seen before. I’m not sure if even I could tell if something is correct if it’s my first time seeing it.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Gon frowned, straightening up. “What’s the competition like then?”

“Ugh, all I can say is that it’s gonna be a pain,” Killua groaned, stretching himself. “I’m finally old enough to compete in the Kukuroo Cup and my folks signed me up almost the minute I got 17. It was basically just them handing me a present and saying, 'Happy birthday son, we signed you up for one of the most extreme skating competitions this side of the Dark Continent. Make us proud.’”

Gon let out a snort and Killua raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m serious, Gon. The Kukuroo Cup is no joke; they allow a lot of things that are usually illegal in competitions and I can _absolutely_ guarantee at least one person is gonna get seriously injured again. I’ve been watching it every year since I was 6 and there’s been some messed up stuff because people _think_ they can do a trick, but they actually _aren’t fucking capable_ of doing it. Some people use props in their programs and let me tell you that holding and using a smoke machine while skating sounds cool in theory, but if you drop it and then trip on the pieces and tear your costume…that’s less cool. You gotta know which props to use because those will either help you win, or ruin absolutely everything.”

“What kind of props do people use?”

Killua scoffed. “Everything. And I mean _everything_. I’ve seen everything from ribbons to an actual remote-controlled mecha-suit.”

Gon made an impressed sound and the skater grinned for a second, eyes staring into the distance before his expression turned solemn. “But that one ended really badly, so now they have a ban on any props bigger than three by three feet.”

“Is anything else banned?”

Killua thought for a moment. “I think they also banned fire. No, wait, hold on.” He frowned before correcting himself. “They banned _setting_ the ice on fire, but using torches and flamethrowers is okay if it doesn’t hurt the audience.”

“What the fuck.”

“Yep.” Killua raised his eyebrows in agreement. If he had a drink in his hand, this is the part in the conversation where he would sip it. The Kukuroo Cup rules were strange at times, but literally all of the rules so far had a tragic reason to even be enforced in the first place.

Gon let the silence stretch for another half-minute before coming up with another question. “What kind of tricks do people usually do there?”

Killua thought and rolled his eyes to himself. “At _least_ two people are going to try a quadruple Axel, because they haven’t realized that it’s fucking impossible to do. They want the fame of being the first one in history to do one in a professional competition, so the quadruple Axel is tried every single year.” He looked over to see Gon sitting there with a blank expression. “You do know what an Axel is?”

Gon scrunched his nose. “That’s a jump, right?”

Killua nodded, feeling a tiny bit relieved. “Right. Lots of people consider it the hardest jump, because of rotation and shit, I’m not gonna go into too much detail.”

“Do you?”

“I’m pretty okay with Axels, it’s the Salchow I’m not really good at,” Killua confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean I can _do_ them, they’re just not…Zoldyck level yet.”

“Are those the ones you’ve been practicing lately?”

“Yeah, I gotta get them perfect for the competition. The judges are harsh and there’s gonna be a lot of people against me.”

“Then I’m always going to be there to support you, Killua.”

Killua blinked at him.

And blinked again as his cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

“I-It’s just a competition!” he stammered, heart pounding wildly.

Gon cocked his head. “Yeah, so? I’m still gonna be there for you.” Killua wasn’t sure if his heart rate could ever return to normal after that.

"A-anyway,” he made a lame attempt at clearing his throat before continuing, “a lot of people are gonna try the quadruple Axel when most of them can’t even properly land a triple one.”

“Are you going to do an Axel?”

Killua shook his head at the question, eyes starting to glow in excitement. “No, I got something even better planned.”

“Something even better? Like what?”

The skater held up a finger in a 'hold on’ motion, retrieved his laptop and started typing away on it. “Li~ke,” he drawled out absently, eyes scanning the screen. Where the _fuck_ was that video.

_There_ it was. Killua clicked on it and tilted his head backwards to grin at Gon, motioning for him to lean in closer. “Like a backflip.”

“Wait, you can do backflips on skates?!”

_Fuck_ , surprised and confused Gon was even cuter upside-down than normally, even if Killua see up could see up his nostrils. He was suddenly very aware of Gon’s closeness, every tiny detail of the teen’s face etching itself into Killua’s memory. Killua could feel his cheeks going warm again and he snapped his head back forward, eyes back to the screen, hoping Gon hadn’t noticed him staring.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and full-screened the video. “Well me _personally_ , not yet. But yeah, you can technically do a backflip in skating. Here, watch.”

The video was old and therefore not the best quality thing, but the viewer could still clearly make out the skaters and their movements, and when the woman on the screen landed the jump to a stadium full of screaming fans, Killua heard Gon suck in a surprised breath. “ _Whoa!_ You’re planning to do _that_?”

Killua nodded, closing the laptop. “I got to do something that stands out even in the extremeness of Kukuroo Cup. And as much as I know, _nobody_ has done a proper backflip in at least the last ten years without messing up and getting injured.”

“I’m sure you can do it,” Gon murmured, resting his head onto his forearms. “You’re way too amazing to get dragged down by something like that.”

Killua wasn’t sure if he could spend a single break without at some point feeling like he was about to spontaneously combust from Gon’s comments. “I’ll do my best not to disappoint you then,” he half-joked back, scratching the back of his neck.

“Don’t be dumb, Killua. You could never disappoint me,” Gon chirped, sincerity and warmth glowing in every inch of his smile and fleck in his brown eyes.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE VIDEO THAT KILLUA SHOWED GON


	4. Chapter 4

Killua knew exactly why they were doing this.

Revenge, simple and petty.

Hisoka had turned out to be an even bigger creep through Gon’s story than Killua had thought possible. So when Killua had seen the handyman leave the building with his usual smirk, murmuring something about needing spare parts for the broken-down Zamboni, Killua’s brain immediately pointed out the chance of mischief with the large sports-bag left behind at the rink.

For some reason, Killua couldn’t remember if he had ever seen Hisoka leave the building without it. But now it was sitting on one of the locker-room benches, practically begging Killua to search through it and maybe play a prank on the unsuspecting handyman. And every chance to play a prank on Hisoka was a chance Killua didn’t want to waste.

So he had grabbed Gon along and told him to be on lookout for Hisoka while he messed with the handyman’s belongings. A couple of short-lived protests later, Gon was standing by the locker-room door, peering through a crack to warn Killua when he saw the tuft of red hair.

The bag looked handmade; it was an obnoxious bright green color, decorative patches shaped like playing card symbols sewed on various spots. It bulged suspiciously in some places and Killua sincerely hoped it wasn’t filled with dismembered body parts or some other creepy shit like that; knowing Hisoka, it was a legitimate possibility.

“Killua, are you sure we should be doing this?”

Killua didn’t even look up from the bag, nestled up to his elbows in playing cards, various make-up components and empty wrappers of some sort, peppered by so, so many of those weird pink stretchy bangle thingies that Hisoka liked to incorporate into his outfit. What the fuck did Hisoka even _do_ with all of this stuff? How did he _use_ it?

“Relax, I’ll be done in a minute. He won’t even know we were here,” he waved in Gon’s direction, hearing Gon sigh and turn back around. The skater picked up a nearly empty jar of hair-gel out of the jumble and raised an eyebrow, spying another three jars underneath. Slowly, he started taking things out of the bag to see what he could work with.

A pair of neon-yellow framed sunglasses. An open carton of cigarettes. A collection of polaroid selfies, some of the more blurry ones featuring Hisoka with other people. A green t-shirt with ‘SINFUL AS SHIT’ lettered across it. A packet of coffee creamer. A pair of golden heart-shaped earrings. A pack of condoms Killua immediately flung across the room. Exactly forty-two of those pink bangles. A pair of socks. A bag of various make-up products, all of them high-quality brands. Loose cards from at least three different decks. A pair of headphones. A silk scarf. A book by Chuck Tingle.

Scratching his head, Killua wondered which part he could mess with, when something glinted in the depths of the bag, catching his attention. He dove for it, scowling and making quiet noises of frustration as the mystery object eluded his fingers. Finally, he managed to close his fist around it and bring it to light; an unopened tube of something edible, that was for sure. Nice.

He turned to Gon, holding the packet over his head with a grin. “I found candy!” He lowered his arm to inspect it, then continued to correct himself. “Well, gum actually.”

“What kind?” Gon’s voice was muffled against the door.

“It’s, uh,” Killua glanced down at his hands, “red cinnamon gum.”

“Red cinnamon gum?” Gon echoed, finally turning his head away from the doorway to shoot a confused face at him. Killua offered him an equally confused shrug and flipped the tubular packet over in his hand.

“'The hottest sweet of the century; Bungee’s Cinnamon Gum will leave your mouth watering for another,” he read aloud, raising an eyebrow. “'Product may contain traces of peanuts and-’ blah-blah-blah, who even cares.” The skater tore the top of the wrapping off and shook the tube until a small square landed in his palm. He stared at it.

“What the fuck.”

It was the brightest, reddest piece of gum had ever seen and Killua had seen a lot of gum in his 17-and-a-half years of life. The thing looked positively toxic. Killua bounced it in his palm, looking from the gum to Gon who had come over from the doorway to wonder at Killua’s find.

“Can I have one too?” Gon peered over his shoulder at the red square.

“Yeah, sure,” Killua said, shaking another piece out for the freckled teenager and handing it over. He stared at his own offensive-looking red square for one last moment before shrugging half-heartedly and popping it into his mouth. Gon watched his face for a reaction. And a reaction Gon did get.

The gob of half-chewed redness landed on the floor faster than Gon could say 'cinnamon gum’, Killua scrubbing vigorously at his tongue with a sleeve of his hoodie.

 _“What the fuck!?”_ The skater was practically wheezing as he finally lowered his arm, glaring at the glob with unconcealed disgust. _“How can he eat that, it tastes fucking **horrible!”**_

Gon’s eyes flickered between his coughing friend and the wet mass on the ground and his hand holding the piece of gum lowered hesitantly. Unfortunately for him, Killua noticed the movement.

"Oh no. No, no, _no,_ you have to try it too,” Killua growled, eyes watering.

“What, why?!”

“You promised!”

“I did not!” Gon protested, voice squeaky with panic as Killua marched towards him, blue eyes glinting with mischief.

“Waitwaitwait, hold on,” he held up his hands when Killua showed no signs of stopping, one still curled around the piece of cinnamon gum. “I’ll try it, _if_ you promise to put Hisoka’s stuff back properly later.”

“I _am_ going to put it back later, I’m just going to mess with some of his things first.”

“No, Killua, just put them back nicely,” Gon whined. “He’s going to know we went through his stuff and then he’ll start messing with us back, and trust me, that is something you do _not_ want from Hisoka.”

“What if I put them back, but I mess with one of his things? Like something so small, he won’t even notice it at first?”

Gon thought for a moment before shrugging a shoulder. “Yeah, okay, that works,” he agreed and slipped the piece of gum into his mouth. This time, Killua watched as Gon munched on the cinnamon monstrosity. In any case, he was lasting way longer than Killua had.

“I agree. Dish doesh dashe pretty bad,” Gon finally nodded, his expression turning more and more sour the longer he chewed. Internally, Killua cheered because _fuck yeah_ , Gon agreed with him; if Gon had actually liked Hisoka’s strange confectioneries, Killua would have had to seriously reconsider how much he actually liked Gon. Externally, he settled for a smug grin; at least until Gon spoke again, voice stony.

“Killua, I dink my moud ith goin numb.”

_“What?”_

“Yeah, idd definiddy goin numb,” Gon burbled, finally going over to the nearest trashcan and spitting out the gum. Killua watched him wiggle his tongue around in an attempt to get feeling back into it; it looked redder than any tongue should ever be and the skater would definitely have laughed if he hadn’t secretly been so concerned.

“Shit, are you okay?”

Gon nodded, still moving his mouth around. “Uh-uh. I dink do. Doed he 'ave any wadder?”

“Uh, no. But even if he did, I don’t think you should drink it, just in case.”

“Oh, dat maked dend. Do you 'ave any wadder den?”

Killua returned to his own bag, fishing out his bottle and throwing it to Gon, who caught it with a nod and uncapped it to drink a few sips. The skater took the time to start shoveling Hisoka’s various possessions back into the sports-bag; he even reluctantly retrieved the pack of condoms that had flown under one of the lockers and threw it into the bag with a twitch of disgust.

Killua was looking over the floor to see if he had missed anything, when Gon tapped his shoulder and handed him back the bottle; the skater was still holding a container of hair-gel in his other hand and he set that on the bench to place a hand on Gon’s shoulder.

“You okay now?” Killua asked worriedly. That gum must have really been some fucked up stuff if Gon’s mouth went _numb_.

Gon nodded, sticking his tongue out for inspection. “Yup, I think so. But Hisoka will be back soon, we should probably go.”

Killua’s eyes wandered from the hair-gel back to the handyman’s bag. ‘Simple and petty’ revenge had just been upgraded to ‘simple and necessary’. 

“Yeah, you can go ahead. I’ll be there in a minute.”

* * *

 

Hisoka stared into the mirror at the blueish-green streaks in his hair. It didn’t look bad per se, but the sudden addition was a unnervingly unprofessional to the eye, even by Hisoka’s taste. But no matter, he was fairly sure he could make it work with a few tweaks here and there.

The only thing he couldn’t understand was _why_ his hair-gel had suddenly decided to pull colorful streaks across his red hair. He fingered one of the strands, observing the way the colors blended messily into each other, like someone had just run their dye-covered fingers across once, not caring about the outcome. Which, he was fairly sure, was actually exactly what had happened.

With a sigh, he let the strand go and smoothed it back into the rest of his pointy hairstyle and reached for the tub of hair-gel.

If he was going to be stuck with blueish-green streaks, then he might as well do them properly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK   
>  YOU   
>  GUYS

Killua sighed and ground to a halt in front of the boy, pulling the headphones out of his ears. “How long are you gonna stare at me?”

Gon blinked twice, raising his head slowly off his arms, like he hadn’t realized himself staring at all. He grinned a bit sheepishly, scratching at a red line left behind on his cheek by the creases of his sleeves. For some inexplicable reason, Killua’s heart apparently decided that the most appropriate reaction to the sight was to perform a somersault.

Gon seemed oblivious to the health problems he was causing the skater. “Does it bother you?”

“It doesn’t really bother me, since I have to perform with an audience all the time, but…” Killua trailed off, flicking his eyes away from Gon and opting to stare at one of the gateways leading off the ice instead. “But it just feels weird if you do nothing else than watch me skate every day.”

“But I like watching Killua skate!”

Killua felt his cheeks heat up. “Idiot.”

“No but really, if it bothers you that much, I can leave.”

Killua’s head whipped around in shock. “What, no! I didn’t mean it like that!” Gon couldn’t just _leave_ like that, what about-

And Gon was grinning at him. Asshole. “I know you didn’t, Killua, I was just messing with you. I wouldn’t leave like that.”

_Like that?_ “But you would leave?”

“No way,” Gon said solemnly and Killua’s heart thumped again. “So I’ll just sit here until you finish your practice session and walk you to the door later.”

Killua bit his lip hesitantly, brain churning over the words he wanted to say. “You could always join me.”

“Oh?”

“I-I mean like skating! You could come and join me on the ice once,” the skater explained hastily at Gon’s amused face. “Doesn’t matter if I’m practicing or not, you’re always welcome there.”

Gon’s grin slowly turned thoughtful. “I can’t skate, though.”

“You don’t have to do tricks or skate as well as me, just come and with at least once,” Killua bargained, climbing off the ice so that the only things between them was the bench and second barrier.

“Killua, I seriously can’t. I’ve never skated before,” Gon said, shaking his head.

“What.” Holy shit _what_. This couldn’t be true. Killua’s scanned Gon’s face thoroughly for any sign of a lie. “Are you telling me that you come to this ice rink every single day and you have _never_ skated here?”

“…Yes?” Gon said hesitantly, voice and expression making it sound more like a question than a statement and Killua stared at him in disbelief.

“Dude.”

Gon sighed reluctantly. “Yeah, I know.”

“Didn’t you ever skate as a kid? Like on ponds and stuff during winter?” Killua asked, eyebrows traveling higher across his forehead. He received a shrug in return.

“I grew up on Whale Island. Nowhere to skate since there’s _no_ snow or ice during winter, _ever._ And the island is so small, we didn’t even have an ice rink.”

“Whale Island, huh? I guess it is a lot hotter than this place,” the skater agreed, scratching his head. That certainly explained the toned skin and numerous freckles, as well as Gon’s addiction to warmth.

“Why haven’t you skated here though? You’ve been coming here every day for like,” Killua calculated for a moment, “a _month._ You’ve had more than enough time to learn skating.”

Gon looked somewhere towards the ground and mumbled something about ‘forgot’ and ‘yours is better anyway’. The skater sighed.

"Well that settles it.” Killua leaned over and grabbed Gon’s wrist, pulling him up and along towards the stairs over the second barrier.

Gon blinked, eyes widening with confusion. “Huh?”

“We are getting you some skates and I am teaching you how to skate, right now,” Killua said matter-of-factly, ignoring the way his hand tingled where it was touching Gon.

“Hey wai- what about your training?”

Killua flashed him a grin over his shoulder. “I’m sure I can afford to deal with something more important for at least _one_ session, right?”

Gon’s freckles disappeared in his blush and he let himself be pulled along with no further complaint.

* * *

 

“No it’s over and _then_ under, Gon, over and th- _what the fuck are you doing?_ ”

“Over and then under,” Gon said simply, continuing to try to tie the laces in a way that was definitely not over-and-then-under. Killua groaned as he watched the laces slowly become more and more chaotic, the result looking more like a bird’s nest than a knot.

Gon wore an expression of extreme concentration as he messed with the rental skates, tongue poking out in a way that Killua found insanely mesmerizing. He shook his head, trying to get the distracting thoughts out and bent down instead to offer his help.

“Here, let me just-”

“No hold on, I can do this!” Gon insisted, batting Killua’s hands aside and attacking the laces again.

“Idiot, you’re taking way too long!”

“I want to do this myself! I can do this!”

“But-”

“Ssshh!!!”

“Alright, fine!” Killua threw his hands up in defeat and slumped back onto the bench, watching from the corner of his eye as Gon’s laces slowly deteriorated into a complete mess.

* * *

 

Nearly half an hour later and Gon was finally laced up properly enough to follow Killua onto the ice, wobbling like a baby lamb the minute he stepped there. Killua would have found it endearing if he hadn’t for some unexplainable reason, been worried about Gon falling over and _blowing out his fucking kneecap or something even worse_. So he hovered nervously around the other boy, constantly reminding himself not grab as Gon stepped onto the ice and swayed drastically as he immediately started towards the middle. Miraculously, he managed to hold his footing and Killua felt himself breathe again as Gon swiveled his head around to grin at the skater.

Unfortunately, Gon’s victory lasted for a total of two more seconds because the movement of turning his head made the teenager lose his balance and fall. Killua skated over to the groaning mass, heart a strange mixture of worry and smugness.

“So, how was that? You want to start by the edge this time?”

Gon groaned quietly and nodded, eyes opening slowly when Killua offered him a hand. He took it gingerly and let himself be pulled up and back to the boards again, fingers escaping Killua’s to cling to the wood instead. Killua let him recover, taking the time to skate a lap around the rink, ending it with a toe loop just before reaching Gon. The freckled teenager stared at him flatly, making Killua offer him a shrug and an impish grin. “Couldn’t resist.”

Gon slowly started making his way forward, one hand clutching the edge tightly while the rest of him wobbled and swayed around with a panicked expression. Killua skated a few feet in front of him, body moving backwards so he could constantly face Gon and murmur soft encouragements to him.

The words didn’t do much, since Killua still found himself laughing and wincing as Gon slipped and slid along, spending more time sprawled on the ice than not. By the time the two were about half-way across the rink from their starting point, Killua had had enough of watching Gon’s face being marred by expressions of pain and he held up his hands to stop the poor guy.

“Alright, I feel unsteady just watching you, so listen up,” Killua said, catching his attention. “First of all, relax.”

Gon took a deep breath and did as Killua said, muscles and posture visibly loosening. Seeing that, Killua surprisingly also felt himself relax, not remembering being tense in the first place.

“Good, that’s good. Now, get rid of that slouch. Bend your knees if you want, but not your back.”

Slowly but surely, Gon’s back straightened upwards and he looked at Killua with a gleeful expression. “That feels so much better.”

The Zoldyck grinned. “It should. You should also try to look at your feet as little as possible, keep your eyes forward.”

“Eyes forward,” Gon parroted to himself, raising his gaze higher to meet Killua’s.

“Ankles straight,” Killua instructed, trying to ignore the sudden dryness in his mouth.

Gon nodded and managed to wobble more upright. “Ankles straight.”

“Okay, you’re doing great, try moving forward now.” Killua nodded in approval as Gon glided towards him, scowl slowly turning into a smile. They continued slowly along the rink, Gon occasionally stumbling and sometimes catching himself, sometimes plummeting to the ice with a yelp. But overall, Killua was surprised and extremely pleased at how fast Gon was learning, nearly not falling at all by the time they were half-way through the third lap.

“Gon you are doing awesome at this; now there’s just one last thing,” Killua said, moving just a tiny bit closer.

“Let go of the railing.”

“What?!”

“I’ll catch you if you fall,” Killua added hastily. “I promise.”  

He reached his hand towards where Gon was clinging to the railing, eyeing his approaching fingers with more than just a hint of doubt. “Do you trust me?

Gon exhaled slowly and nodded firmly, meeting Killua’ eyes. "I trust you.”

He took the hand Killua was offering, sending a jolt of cold into Killua’s warm ones. His usually warm and calloused fingers were scraped and wet from falling over so much; even so, Killua felt every nerve in his body tingle and sing as he pressed their palms together. Slowly, he skated towards the middle of the rink, making Gon let go of the railing as he was pulled along.

Gon was staring at his feet again, fascinated by the way his skates moved on the ice. “Gon, look at me. Don’t look at your feet, look at me.” Gon snapped his head upward and Killua smiled what he seriously hoped was a reassuring smile at him. Gon grinned back, squeezing his hand gently and Killua’s heart spluttered.

The next ten minutes were spent on Killua gently tugging Gon towards the center of the rink, stopping and steadying the freckled teenager whenever he wobbled. Finally in the middle, Killua let out a small sigh of relief and Gon dissolved into laughter; it cut off quickly when his feet started sliding in different directions and he had to steady himself.

“You can let go now,” Gon stated, upright again.

“You sure?”

Gon nodded. “Yeah, I want to try moving on my own for a bit.”

Killua nodded back and slowly removed his hand from Gon’s; his palm seemed oddly empty and he flexed it a few times, trying to get rid of the weird feeling. He moved back a few feet, giving Gon enough room move around unaided. “I’ll be over here if you need me.”

It turns out Gon _did_ still Killua’s help moving around; the only problem was, Killua couldn’t get close enough to help him without being hit by a stray hand or skate. So all he could do was stand back and try not to laugh as Gon struggled to get up after yet another fall. Somehow, he managed to stand up without skidding in every direction and look at Killua with a proud expression. Which, of course, turned into another one of fear as his legs started to move.

Gon yelped as his treacherous skates slid the wrong way again, landing him back onto the ice where he sat still with a pout until Killua bit back his laughter long enough to pull him up. The freckled teenager clung to the offered arm desperately, trying to balance himself as his skates played Twister underneath him.

Killua chuckled. “You okay?”

Instead of answering, Gon clutched his arm tighter, other hand grabbing at the skater’s shoulder for better leverage. Killua tried to ignore the swooping in his stomach as he looped his other arm around Gon, steadying him. Finally still, Gon exhaled shakily and looked at the skater.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, smiling widely.

Killua sighed, feeling a grin of his own tug at his lips. “What would you do without me? If I hadn’t helped you up, you would still be down on that ice.”

“My hero,” Gon cooed, poking the tip of his tongue through his teeth as he beamed. Killua scoffed, trying not to show exactly how hard his heart was pounding underneath the thermal shirt Gon had woven his fingers into.

His shoulder and arm felt cold when Gon finally pulled away, wobbling into a standing position again. The freckled teenager slid a few feet by himself and Killua clapped, making Gon grin cheekily. “So, how long do you think before I could manage an Axel?”

Killua gave him a once over. “If you practice every day then maybe….seventy years?”

“Is that how long it took you, old man?”

Killua spluttered at the jab at his white hair and simultaneously felt a surge of affection towards him because _damn_ , he hadn’t thought Gon had it in him. He decided to take revenge by skating lazy circles around Gon, throwing in the occasional twizzle while Gon squawked in protest. He eventually scratched to a stop to steady Gon from his failed attempt to trip Killua.

“Thank you, Killua.”

“Don’t thank me yet, you’re still gonna be covered in bruises tomorrow. I wouldn’t be surprised if you sat in bed the entire day tomorrow instead of coming to watch me,” the skater said, letting go to twirl around Gon again, making the circle bigger each time.

Gon laughed, not hearing Killua’s panicked warning of, “Gon, wait, your ankle’s gonna break if you land on it li-”  and suddenly found himself falling backwards, arms flailing like windmills.

Killua dove forward before he even realized what he was doing, mind suddenly registering his hands clenching Gon’s shirt in a desperate attempt to keep him upright. A desperate, but pointless attempt, as Gon turned out to be much heavier than Killua anticipated, making the attempted rescue catch turn more into a fall as Killua was dragged on top of Gon.

Killua’s knees stung a bit as they clacked against the ice, but the rest of his landing was surprisingly soft. The winded _huff_ that sounded from under him told him that Gon’s had not.

The skater blearily cracked his eyes open and was greeted by a triangular fleshy thing covering most of his field of sight. _A chin_ his mind supplied after a few seconds and oh _shit_ , that meant the soft thing squished under his forehead was Gon’s cheek. He jerked his head back immediately, face flaring scarlet as Gon blinked up at him groggily and let out a tiny groan.

“I-I’m so sorry, are you okay? Your ankle was just- shit, sorry Gon, I didn’t-” Killua cut himself off in surprise when Gon’s chest suddenly started rumbling underneath him, mouth quirking upwards as he giggled wheezily, one hand coming up to rest on Killua’s back. The close proximity gave Killua a clear view of the way the corners of Gon’s eyes crinkled, the way a small dimple appeared on one side of a glittering smile, the way Gon’s dark eyes seemed to glow as he peered at Killua through his lashes. Killua swallowed dryly.

“’S'kay Killua,” Gon slurred happily, eyes still looking at Killua in a way that made the skater’s stomach flip. “It’s fine.”

“Fine,” Killua echoed quietly, unable to tear his eyes away from Gon’s. Gon had stopped laughing; Killua felt him swallow, the bob in his neck unusually distinct all of a sudden. The distant ba-dump in Gon’s chest was speeding up to match his own jackhammer pace, and Killua felt his breath hitch when Gon’s eyes flickered to his lips and oh my god Killua really, _really_ wanted to kiss him right now.

Hot breath ghosted over his face and Killua let his eyes flutter shut as they somehow managed to inch ever closer, closer, clo-

“A _hem_.”

Killua felt both himself and the body underneath freeze in shock. His mind was reeling, screaming a loud and crestfallen mantra of **_NO_** s as he pulled back without ever feeling the lips on his. The moment was obviously ruined and Killua didn’t think he had ever felt so disappointed in years.

A wave of white-hot anger surged through him next. He had been waiting so long for something like this to happen and now this; Leorio or Kurapika or _whoever_ was standing there could go fucking _shove it_ and Killua was more than ready to tell them that as he cracked his eyes open and turned to yell at the figure behind the guardrail.

Oh _shit._

The warm brim of confidence in his stomach evaporated instantly and the insults died on his lips because that _definitely_ wasn’t Leorio there in the stands, nor was it Kurapika or even Hisoka, however disgusting that would have been.

Instead, the skater found the vacant stare of Illumi Zoldyck directed at him with mild interest and a great fucking deal of disapproval. “Hello, little brother.”

Killua accidentally elbowed Gon in the ribs, _hard,_ in his scramble to get up, hissing an apology at the pained yelp Gon let out. The pair struggled to their feet and towards the nearest gateway, Killua helping the other keep his balance until they were off the ice and Gon could collapse onto a bench, still clutching his ribs where Killua had whacked him.

Illumi was now on the other side of the rink; Killua could feel the disapproving aura emitting from his brother as he started towards them, picking his way through the rows of seats. It took less than a minute before he was standing next to Killua, staring down his little brother’s companion.

Illumi Zoldyck looked as immaculate as he always did, clad in a dark blue dress shirt and black pants. Long black hair framed his pale face, making his large dark eyes look even more larger, darker and more menacing. His expression was the same unreadable sheet it had been always been; only time spent together told Killua that the minuscule twitch in his brother’s eyebrow was a sign of extreme annoyance and anger. Killua swallowed nervously.

Illumi’s large eyes were locked on Gon, taking him in from top to bottom. To Gon’s credit, he didn’t sink back or look away as Illumi narrowed his gaze at the sitting teenager. Even if Killua did notice Gon’s knuckles tensing against his shirt, his expression didn’t changed.

An agonizing ten seconds of scrutiny later, Illumi’s head swiveled around to turn his blank gaze towards his younger brother instead. “Killua, who is this?”

Gon, precious Gon, unable to read the mood Gon, slowly stood up and extended a hand towards Illumi. “I’m Gon!”

Illumi ignored the offered hand and Gon entirely. “You failed to mention another skater. We all thought you were training alone.”

Killua opened his mouth to answer but Gon beat him to it. “I’m not a skater.”

_That_ finally caught Illumi’s attention and his head turned back to the freckled teen. “You’re not?”

“Yeah, I don’t usually skate! This time was an exception because Killua asked me to,” Gon answered, and Killua’s nervousness grew as he remembered just what his eldest brother’s policies were on interacting with fans.

“Oh? Why would Killua ask you to skate with him?”

“Killua said he felt weird if I only watched him practice and never skated with him,” Gon said firmly, not noticing the way Killua was frantically motioning for him to stop talking from behind Illumi.

Illumi’s eyebrow twitched just the slightest bit. “You…watch him practice?”

The older Zoldyck’s voice was still completely void of any emotion, which made Killua way more nervous than if Illumi had been yelling. Either Gon didn’t find it as scary, or he was dumb enough to not care and Killua’s heart was practically frozen with fear as Gon _smiled_ at Illumi when he replied. “Yeah! Killua’s skating is really cool, I’ve never seen anything like it!”

Illumi’s hand twitched by his side and Killua felt another wave of anxiety wash over him. Illumi wouldn’t actually attack Gon, right? It wasn’t entirely impossible, knowing his brother’s strange personality. In any way, Killua had to resolve this quickly, or things _would_ get ugly, whether or not physical pain was involved.

Killua clenched his fists. “Gon, maybe it’s best if you left.”

Both Illumi and Gon turned to look at him, Gon with confusion and a hint of pain written across his face, his brother still wearing his empty expression. “Huh?”

“Please, just,” Killua forced himself to swallow the lump forming in his throat. “Just go.”

This was the right thing to do. Gon didn’t deserve to be mixed up in whatever Zoldyck mess Illumi was here to create. Killua could explain everything to Gon tomorrow, if he was still here tomorrow.

“Bye, Killua.”

Gon cast a final unsure look at Illumi before offering Killua a tiny wave and smile and trudging up the stairs, still in his rental skates. Killua felt a sense of helplessness as he watched the rink door swing shut and the two Zoldycks were left alone.

 

Killua stared at his feet, unable to meet his brother’s eyes. Icy fear trickled down his spine and froze his entire body; he felt weak, so helpless before the cold gaze of his older brother. The hum of the rink’s machinery seemed louder than ever in Killua’s ears, punctured only by the nervous pounding of his heart.

Illumi was the first to break the silence. “You never mentioned liking someone. This certainly explains your strange behavior at home lately.”

Killua’s fingers twitched, but he said nothing. Illumi continued. “Killua, I’m sure that our parents will be disappointed in your behavior. Messing around with a boy is not their idea of an excuse to skip practice, you know that.”

“How did you find me?” His voice was quiet, no louder than a whisper, but it still managed to crack halfway through his sentence. He hated himself for it.

“A mutual acquaintance told me about your whereabouts.” Killua’s eyes widened in shock and he finally looked at his brother. “For a small…price.” Illumi added, wrinkling his nose at the last word, something Killua would have usually found strange if his mind hadn’t been busy reeling with the strong sense of foreboding.

“No,” he finally croaked out. _Surely not._ The man needed the money, but even he wasn’t greedy enough to sell Killua’s location. The skater’s fingers curled into fists and he felt a surge of strangely protective anger. “Leorio would never-”

“Leorio knows nothing about me being here,” Illumi cut him off. “He was not the one who told me.”

“But then-”

“This is not the conversation I came here to have.” This time, Illumi sounded faintly annoyed when he interrupted again. “I originally came here just to check on your progress. See if this arrangement of you training alone was working out.” Illumi’s eyebrow twitched again. “Obviously it isn’t, because you seem to have neglected your training completely.”

Heat rose in Killua’s cheeks. “I haven’t neglected anything! I’ve been practicing what I need to every single day! Today just…”

“Today just happened,” Illumi finished for him, expression unimpressed and Killua went quiet again. “If today ‘just happened’,” Illumi made air-quotes, “What’s to say that won’t happen again? What is going to stop it?”

_Me,_ Killua had to say. That is what Illumi wanted to hear, what he would accept. Killua couldn’t say it.

When Killua remained silent, Illumi sighed tiredly. “Killu, you are my little brother, which is why I really must remind you of this - you are _friendly_ with fans. You are not _friends_ with fans. Do you understand?”

“I know that, and I understand why you keep telling me that! Yeah, some fans are annoying and some are creepy and some do nothing but stare at me from a distance since they’re too shy to talk,” Killua agreed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “But Gon isn’t any of those things! Gon doesn’t try to find out where I live, or try to hang out with me constantly or disrupt my practice or anything else like that!”

“Gon distracts you from skating,” Illumi remarked coldly.

“He doesn’t,” Killua shook his head.

“Obviously he does. You cannot afford any distractions-”

“Gon isn’t a distraction!” Killua snapped, hands clenching into fists. Illumi reeled back and blinked in surprise.

This is how it always had been. Killua would do something for himself and if his family disapproved, they would get rid of it. This had happened before with his training partner Canary, it had happened with Alluka, and now, it was happening with Gon.

It was happening with Gon and Killua had had enough.

“Gon isn’t a distraction,” he repeated slowly, voice steadier than he felt it should be.

Illumi sighed through his nose. “Killua, you must understand that that boy doesn’t care about _you_ , he cares about your _fame_. Anything he told you about himself could be fake; his name, his hobbies, even his interest in you. What’s there to say that one day he just won’t show up, no warning or anything? The next thing you know, he has given the press interviews about you and your personal life and secrets.”

“Gon isn’t like that,” Killua snapped, voice wavering. There was no way Gon would ever do any of those things.

“You could vouch for his honesty?” Illumi asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “Would you swear on it?”

Killua’s heart thumped loudly in his throat. “I would.”

If Illumi was the type of person to scoff, he would have.

“Gon helps me skate,” Killua said carefully, watching Illumi’s face for reactions. “I don’t know how to explain it, but when he’s here, I feel like I can skate better. He just…makes me feel right.”

The oldest Zoldyck pursed his lips slightly. “Killua, _you_ are the one in the family we have the highest hopes for. Not Kalluto, not Zzigg, not me, _you_. You think this boy can offer you something that our family cannot. Perhaps he even could, but there’s a chance he could also take something away, weaken you. That is a chance the Zoldycks are not willing to take.”

“But a chance is just a chance, right? It might not happen,” Killua argued childishly. He sighed. “Illumi please, _please_ don’t make me go back home. I know both you and mother think it’s for the best, but I can’t do it anymore. I feel so much better practicing here.”

“You mean you feel much better with the boy around,” Illumi retorted, cocking an eyebrow.

Killua’s mouth snapped shut and he felt his ears grow warm. He really didn’t have a good answer for that.

Illumi exhaled, almost sighing but Illumi never sighed, slowly closing his eyes. His face looked bored when he opened them again, directing his dark gaze at Killua. Killua could sense quick calculations whirring behind the blank expression, and the unnerving feeling that his brother was deciding his entire fate held him. An eternity seemed to tick by before Illumi finally opened his mouth to answer.

“Alright.”

Killua felt like he had heard wrong, trying to calm his leaping heart. “Alright?”

Illumi nodded once. “Alright. I will not take you home right now, nor will I tell the rest of our family about the boy. However,” he held up a finger, bringing Killua’s inner celebration to a halt. “In addition to owing me a favor, I will check in on your process exactly three weeks before the competition. I trust your program should be ready by that time.”

Killua nodded. He could do that.

“If your words are true and he does help you with your skating, I will not interfere anymore and you are free to train however you want by my standards. But if I find your performance lacking or weaker than it has been before, you are coming home immediately and training under father until the competition. You are not to see the boy again.” Illumi’s gaze was dark and Killua could tell that the last part wasn’t a threat, it was a promise. “Those are my conditions.”

Killua digested his options briefly. It was a fair deal, considering that he had way more to lose than Illumi. Trusting the older Zoldyck was his only option right now, however much he hated it.

“Okay. You get to see my program three weeks before the Kukuroo Cup.”

“And a favor,” Illumi added without batting an eye.

Killua’s jaw tightened. “And a favor.”

One corner of Illumi’s mouth twitched upwards in a way that Killua did not like at all. Owing a favor to Illumi was one of the most risky things he knew and he hated being in that position.

Illumi on the other hand, looked extremely pleased, pulling out his phone to check something on it. “Then it’s settled. You have exactly five weeks. Use your time well and do not disappoint me.”

For someone so seemingly straight-laced and mechanical, Illumi sure could move abnormally fast, past his brother and on the stairs before Killua could even process what was happening. Killua looked at the departing back and remembered something.

“Who was it?”

Illumi stopped to look at him. “Hm?”

“The 'mutual friend’ who gave you my location, who was it?”

There was a long pause before the older Zoldyck cocked his head to the side. “Acquaintance, not friend. I don’t believe either of us could actually consider him a friend.”

“What did you pay him?”

The pause was even longer this time. “…A favor.”

That answer was strange, even for Illumi. He was avoiding both questions, which was something Killua didn’t think Illumi had ever done, at least not with him. The older Zoldyck had already reached the topmost landing, hand reaching for the door when he turned back to face Killua. As he spoke, Illumi’s words echoed in the nearly-empty arena, raining onto Killua like a chorus of warnings.

“Make sure you don’t get yourself get distracted again, little brother.”

* * *

 

When Killua walked into the arena the next day, he was greeted by the sight of Gon’s empty seat. A quick scan of the place showed him that no, Gon was not sitting anywhere else either.

Confused, but not worried, he trudged downstairs to change. Maybe Gon was just caught up in traffic, maybe he was getting another almond latte, which was very likely considering how much he liked those things, maybe he actually was so bruised up from yesterday that he decided to stay in bed the entire day.  

In any case, Killua was sure that Gon was going to show up sometime soon, there. He would get here and Killua could explain and apologize for his shitty brother and his behavior; and then buy him coffee and maybe dinner because after everything that had happened yesterday, the skater was finally fairly sure that there was a chance of his feelings for Gon being returned.

Humming cheerfully, Killua untangled his earbuds and launched himself onto the ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well then


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (◡‿◡✿)

_This wasn’t **working.**_

Killua growled and dragged his hands roughly through his hair, snarling when the tiny ponytail snagged painfully. This _trick_ was shit, this _training session_ was shit, this _day_ was shit, _this entire goddamn week_ was _shit_. He couldn’t do it.

He reached for the iPod strapped to his waist, fingers stopping short when he (once again) remembered that it wasn’t his iPod’s fault there was no music, it was the fact that he had no goddamn headphones anymore and Killua scowled again.

Earlier, his earbuds had fallen out when he tried doing a Salchow. Usually, this wasn’t a problem since he pulled the wires under his shirt and through his neck-hole, making sure they never traveled too far from his head. But today, he hadn’t bothered dragging them through the turtleneck and it had fucking cost him. Instead of harmlessly falling onto his chest like they normally did, the earbuds somehow managed to drop ridiculously low and tangle themselves around one of his blades in midair; which not only tripped him when he landed, but also sliced the wires clean in half.

So Killua sat on the ice for a while, nursing a painful knee and mourning his favorite headphones. The rink was silent except for the whir of machinery and his own labored breathing; Leorio always shut the music off when the last _official_ customers left, leaving Killua to with practice with his own music and thoughts. Now, his thoughts were swarming all over the place and without his music to drown them into, Killua found his mind constantly trailing back to the one specific freckled teenager he was desperately trying not to think about.

Enough practice for today.

He skated to the floor area, pointedly avoiding looking at the empty seat behind his. His cool-down routine was the same it always was; stretching gently and then downing nearly an entire bottle of water while he cleaned his skates. At least that how it should have been, but right now his movements were as mechanical and bothered as they had been for the last week.

It was painfully quiet and Killua didn’t like it. Normally, this was the part of his day where Gon would chatter on about things on his mind, laugh at Killua’s jokes and he was _not going to think about Gon._ He grit his teeth and tugged off his skates roughly, nearly slicing his finger open on a blade. Hissing in pain and frustration, he shoved the treacherous skates into his bag and pulled out his water again before zipping the thing shut. The teenager hung on the bottle by his teeth as he did up his boots, the numerous laces seeming more like an annoyance right now than anything else and his brow furrowed angrily. His bag clattered to the ground when he stood up; Killua swore quietly and picked it up, his eyes accidentally flying to the seat behind his bench when he straightened back up.

His anger ebbed away and instead, Killua felt a painful hollowness in his chest as he looked at the empty seat. He could almost see Gon sitting there like always, his arms crossed and propped onto the border in front of him, eyes sparkling with mirth and that strange darkness behind it all that Killua had glimpsed once and found absolutely terrifying. Gon sitting there with his weird spiky hairstyle, biting the inside of his freckled cheek when he was trying not to laugh at something Killua did or said.

It didn’t make _sense_. Killua had only known the guy for a bit more than a month, but it still felt like he was missing a significant part of his life. As cheesy as it sounded, Gon had felt..right.

Which made it all the more painful now that he had left without a fucking word.

His free hand curled into a fist, the other one clenching the water bottle until it turned white and numb.

_Enough._

What was the fucking point to all of this. It looked like Gon wasn’t coming back, not tomorrow, not in another two weeks. He obviously didn’t care about Killua enough to even bother telling him what he had done wrong, just left Killua on his own, wondering, guessing. _Fuck,_ Killua couldn’t believe he had actually let Gon in so easily; he had _never_ done that before with anyone, not to mention a fan of all people. He thought he could trust Gon to not hurt him, or himself not to hurt Gon either for that matter. Looks like he had been wrong about everything.

Gon wasn’t coming back.

Killua didn’t think he had ever felt so alone in his life.

* * *

 

To Killua’s surprise, it was Kurapika who was sitting in the stands, watching him practice.

He was only in the second row, close enough for Killua to see the concerned frown etched into his face. It was clear Kurapika was waiting for him and the skater rolled his eyes because wow, here was another person who was ready to talk about something they thought would help.

Well Killua had no intention of going there and hav-   _shit._

Killua’s train of thought was lost as he stumbled and crashed into the ice. Pain shot up his backside and he mentally cursed his toe-pick for getting stuck. Wincing, he stood up and started moving again, gingerly, trying to ignore both the pain and the flash of sympathy across Kurapika’s face. He had no intention of going over there and talking, no matter how bad it got, so Kurapika might just as well leave.

* * *

 

Nearly half an hour passed before Killua finally admitted defeat and stumbled off the ice, skin littered with a fresh coat of bruises. His body hurt more than it had in years and he knew that unless he took a break _now,_ he wouldn’t be able to get up the next time he fell. He sat there, sipping on his water and wincing internally each time he shifted when he heard footsteps shuffle around somewhere in the rows behind him; not for the first time, Killua regretted not bringing a new pair of headphones with him as the rink’s manager, Kurapika, appeared before him, arms crossed and expression worried.

“Killua, I believe we need to talk.” His tone was gentle and comforting and it pissed Killua off for some reason. The skater clenched his jaw and stared at his hands, pointedly trying to ignore the man.   

“Killua, I am serious. Both Leorio and I are getting concerned with your recent…state,” Kurapika tried again, biting out the last word after a short pause.

“I’m fine.”

“Kil-”

 _“I said I’m fine!”_ Killua snapped angrily, making the manager flinch back in surprise. The tiny voice of guilt gnawing at Killua’s brain seeing that sounded suspiciously like Gon’s and he immediately pushed it away to the back of his head, steeling himself.

“Killua, you are _not_ fine. During the last three weeks I have witnessed you damage both yourself and the rink more than you have in the entire past year of being a regular here.”

The skater rolled his eyes. “I’ll pay for whatever I broke.”

“You would, but this is not why I’m here. I know we had an arrangement,” Kurapika began, only for Killua to snort and interrupt.

“And by arrangement, you mean I paid you guys a shitload of money so you would let me practice here alone after hours.”

The manager’s eyes widened at Killua’s bluntness.

“I’m not judging you for asking for that much to keep the rink alive, nor am I asking for you to repay me,” Killua waved an airy hand.  “But that was the deal. Me, with _nobody_.” He stressed the last word theatrically, gesturing across the empty rink and stands with a sweeping motion. “That’s what I should be doing right now.”

Kurapika’s lips thinned into a grim line. “What about Gon?”

Killua froze.

“Does that mean Gon was also a nobody to you?”

There was a loud _crack_ and the water bottle in Killua’s grip suddenly splintered. He took no notice of it, his gaze turning more and more murderous as he stared at Kurapika. “What did you just say?”

Killua could see Kurapika swallow at the venom in his voice. “I did not-”

“Gon was _never_ a nobody, Gon was somebody from the moment he came here! And that’s the problem!"  The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, fueled by anger and desperation. "That’s the problem, because now he’s gone when I thought he would be here. He told me he would stay by my side, but he left and it’s all my fault!” Killua’s voice shattered on the last word and even the skater himself could hear the raw pain underlining everything.

Kurapika was silent for a while. “What do you mean?”

Killua’s anger suddenly deflated. He felt empty and tired, staring numbly at the broken bottle in his hands. “I did something stupid.”

Kurapika uncrossed his arms, but said nothing.

“I thought…” Killua sighed, shaking his head.  "Whatever, it doesn’t matter what I thought anymore. I was wrong. And now, he’s not coming back.“

"Killua-”

The skater’s shoulders sagged. “Illumi was right. Looks like Gon doesn’t care about me as much as I thought he did.”

“You’re wrong.” The manager’s sudden cold tone made Killua look up in surprise. Kurapika’s eyes seemed to glint red for a second as he stared icily down at the skater.

Killua raised an eyebrow. “Am I?”

“Yes,” Kurapika snapped, finally growing impatient. “Gon _does_ care about you. More than you could ever believe.”

“Then why isn’t he here?” Killua growled back, annoyance and disbelief rearing their ugly heads again.

“Why haven’t you asked _him_ that?”

“I’ve tried! I’ve called and texted him to the point where it’s almost creepy and he hasn’t-,” Killua bit his lip when he noticed how loud his voice was getting. “He hasn’t texted me back even once, and every time I try to call him, his phone is off.”

Kurapika’s brow furrowed skeptically. “That doesn’t sound like Gon at all.”

“It doesn’t, but it’s true.” Killua admitted bitterly, narrowly biting back the insult he wanted to fire at the manager.

“Are you sure you have the correct number? If-”

“I’m sure it’s his number, okay?” Killua interrupted again. “He’s texted me plenty of times before, it’s just that after last time,” his cheeks flared for a moment at the memory, “he hasn’t contacted me at all.”

Kurapika crossed his arms again and looked deep in thought. “I thought it was a bit strange that I haven’t heard from him lately, but I thought he would still be talking with you,” he muttered more to himself than to Killua.

Hearing that, the skater furrowed his brows and straightened up. “Wait, why haven’t _you_ heard from him? And what do you mean by ‘still talking with me’?”

Kurapika sighed and closed his eyes. "Recently, Leorio and I have been very busy with the rink and that makes it a bit difficult to keep in constant contact with every friend and their personal life; with so many meetings lately, I was worried that Gon would run out of his initial excitement for the place and get bored soon enough.

“But the thing was - even after a few weeks, various staff members told us they saw Gon here every single day. He would always stop by the offices for a moment to see if either Leorio or I were in - usually we are not during that time of day - and then head straight to the arena without any skates.”  The manager opened his eyes again, staring off into the distance.

"Of course, both Leorio and I thought it was strange at first; why come back here constantly if not to skate nor talk with us?  But we discovered the reason soon enough.”  Kurapika directed his softening gaze at the skater. “It’s you.”

The _ba-dump_ in his Killua’s chest suddenly seemed unusually distracting. "How would you know that?”

“It’s obvious he cares about you. It’s nearly impossible to talk to him and not notice it.”

Killua’s eyes widened. "What do you mean?”

Kurapika looked amused. “Every single conversation anybody has had with Gon lately, he always somehow manages to turn the topic to you. I’m not sure if he even notices it himself,  but in any case, this is the first time I have ever seen him act like this.”

What the _fuck._ The skater’s head spun in a whirlwind of emotions and he pressed a shaky hand against his eyes. The skin under his fingertips felt suspiciously wet and Kurapika’s voice sounded more sympathetic when he spoke.

“Killua, _you_ are the real reason he kept coming back here. So if he really isn’t talking to you, the rest of us do not even have a chance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (ʘ‿ʘ✿)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ART

It was another ten days before Killua walked in to anyone sitting in the arena. The breathy _“Gon?”_ escaped his lips before he could stop it and Killua’s heart couldn’t seem to decide whether it wanted to freeze or double its work when the figure leapt up at the name.

Gon, because it actually _was_ Gon this time, beamed and waved happily, oblivious to Killua’s inner turmoil. “Killua!”

Dazed, the skater pulled the silent headphones out of his ears and stumbled towards the stairs; he was already halfway down when the reality of the situation finally struck and the fuzzy feeling in his chest suddenly evaporated a considerable amount. Gon had opted to vault the row of seats instead of climbing around them to reach the stairs faster and he ran towards Killua, arms outstretched for a hug. Killua dropped his bag and let Gon’s arms arms envelop him into a warm cocoon, desperately trying to squash down the butterflies in his stomach together with the urge to lean in and hug back. Instead, he waited until Gon pulled away and stared at him stonily.

“Killua, it’s so good to-”

The skater cut him off curtly. “Why are you here?”

Gon froze, expression deflating in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you _‘what do you mean’_ me! You left for a goddamn _month_ without a single word, and now you just suddenly decide to come waltzing back in here?” Killua shook his head, anger rearing its head again for the first time in a week. “That’s not how I work.”

“Killua, I didn’t want to-”

“You didn’t want to what? To leave like that? Is that what you were gonna say?”

Gon snapped his mouth shut, expression so dejected, it nearly broke Killua’s heart.

The skater looked away, lips pressing into a grim line as he steeled himself. “I don’t need someone here who doesn’t want to be here, okay? So if you only come here every once in a while to distract me, you should just leave right now.”

“Leave?” Gon echoed quietly. “Why would I want to leave? If you’re here, then I want to be here too.”

“Cut the bullshit, I obviously wasn’t enough for you,” Killua snarled tiredly, anger suddenly fading. “Gon, I missed you; dear God, you have _no idea_ how much I missed you, but if you’re just using this and _me_ as a way to pass your free time, then I don’t want you coming to my practices anymore.”

“Killua, would you please just _listen_ to me for a second?” Gon’s voice was desperate, eyes shining with unspilled tears. Killua could hear him swallow thickly.

“Believe me, I never wanted to leave you like that and I’m really sorry. I never wanted to hurt you,” he added quietly when Killua stayed silent. “But this time there really was nothing I could do about it.”

“You could’ve at least answered your phone.” Killua narrowed his eyes dangerously. "And don’t you _dare_ say you lost it, because that is the _shittiest_ and _untruest_ excuse there is!”

“I didn’t lose it,” Gon protested, holding his hands up defensively when Killua started to argue again. Huffing, the skater shut his mouth and Gon lowered his arms slowly.

“I didn’t lose it, but I had no idea where my phone was. Actually, I still don’t know where it is right now. It’s somewhere in my house, but only my aunt knows exactly where it is. She took it and put it somewhere.”

Killua rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “Oh really? _Why_ would your aunt do that?”

“She had to; and honestly, I’m a bit glad she did, because otherwise I definitely wouldn’t have been able to contain myself.”

The skater stared coldly at him.  “Gon, you’re not making any sense at all.”

Silence stretched between them. Finally, Gon sighed and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Remember when we skated together and we fell over?”

Killua nodded, pointedly ignoring the way his heartbeat sped up at the memory. He had to be prepared to kick Gon out if necessary and he did _not_ need anything softening his feel-

"Yeah, well, it turns out I fractured two of my ribs in the fall,” Gon interrupted his train of thought, looking apologetic. He kept picking nervously at a sleeve with one hand, pointedly not staring at Killua.

What.

**_What._ **

“I’ve been at home, mostly in bed, trying to heal as fast as I could. Aunt Mito took my phone away because, well,” Gon paused again, oblivious to the way Killua’s anger had completely turned into guilty horror, “the first time you texted me after the accident, I tried to climb out of bed to get it, which may not have been the best idea.” The freckled teen grimaced.

“After that, I tried to get up every time I got something from you, so aunt Mito finally took my phone away before I could break anything else and made me promise not to look for it. She also caught me when I tried to come over here and forced me back into bed,” Gon said, rubbing his neck. He grinned at the skater, ”She’s a lot stronger than she looks!”

Killua’s heart was practically breaking in shame. Gon had gotten _injured_ because of him and his stupid ideas. And then he had jumped to conclusions like an idiot and assumed moronic things. A disgusting hot lump started to form in his throat and Killua felt so fucking _stupid._

It was all his fault.

“Oh my god, Gon, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-” Killua choked out, not finding nearly the right words to apologize.

Gon waved an airy hand and sent him a reassuring grin that made Killua feel even _worse._ “It’s okay, I don’t blame you for anything.”

“It’s _not_ okay, Gon; I made you go skating and broke your ribs and then you finally come back and I practically yelled at you like a fucking prick and told you to get out of my sight- oh god,” Killua buried his face into his hands as his voice broke, tears welling up beneath his fingertips. A warm set of arms enveloped him, pulling him to rest against  a firm chest. In any other circumstance, Killua would have spontaneously combusted, but now, Killua only pressed his face deeper into the fabric, staining the hoodie with wetness.

“I thought you didn’t care anymore,” Killua murmured quietly, unable to look up at Gon.

“Killua, I’ll always care.”  The sincerity and gentleness in Gon’s voice sent a shudder up Killua’s spine, and despite his pathetic mood, Killua still felt heat rising to his cheeks. He lost count of the  “ _I‘m sorry”s_  whispered into Gon’s shoulder, all of them melding into an apology Killua had no way of ever fully conveying. 

 

When his sobs finally subsided and the only signs of his breakdown were the red rims around his eyes and the patches of damp on the green hoodie (honestly, Killua was glad to see it no matter how much he hated the thing), Killua drew back, the air suddenly very cold where Gon’s arms had been. Gon  smiled at him gently.

This felt unreal. What had Killua ever done to deserve this guy? Gon was here and refusing to blame Killua for something that was clearly the skater’s fault; getting injured like that was only the- wait.

“Gon, you said your ribs were fractured? _Fractured,_ not bruised?” Killua asked, eyebrows furrowing slowly downward.

“Yeah, at least that’s what the doctors told me.”

Killua stared at him in disbelief. "Gon,” he started, “fractures take _six weeks_ to heal _at least_. You have been gone for _less_ than _four_.”

Gon seemed suddenly very interested in the plastic chair next to him, pointedly not looking at the skater.

Killua kinda wanted to smack him.

“You _idiot,_ what are you doing here?”

“The doctors said I was fine!” Gon protested, finally looking at the skater. “Look, Killua, I feel fine. I mean I _am_ fine,” he corrected himself, seeing Killua’s displeased expression. “I heal pretty fast, a lot faster than most people.”

“Besides,” Gon murmured, eyes suddenly softening. "I just couldn’t sit around any longer without seeing you, Killua.”

Killua could feel himself flushing red again, could feel the strangled noise that escaped his throat and his hands flew up to his face in a pointless attempt to cover up at least one of them. Man, what was _wrong_ with him?

"Killua, I missed you.”

The skater couldn’t help the tiny snort that escaped him. “I missed you too, dummy.”

* * *

 

It took nearly half an hour for Gon to convince Killua, but the skater finally gave up and went to to change into his training gear instead of trying to force Gon back home to rest. The freckled teen was brought up to speed with everything regarding the Illumi situation while Killua laced up his skates, sneaking constant glances over his shoulder to reassure himself this actually was _real._

Gon was back.

Gon was _back._

The Zoldyck’s chest thumped wildly when Gon gave him one last thumbs-up as he headed onto the ice, plugging in his headphones. The warm-up laps and start of the program had gone by in the blink of an eye; his mind didn’t properly catch up with his actions until he was already halfway through the song, coming out of  a lunge.

Killua’s eyes flickered back to the boy in the stands, his heart doing that stupid fluttering thing again as he caught Gon’s smiling face and he should really _concentrate on the fucking program._ He managed to wrench his focus back, just in time to avoid stumbling over his own feet as he spun around in a simple twizzle. God, that would have been embarrassing to trip over. Beat thumping in the background, Killua picked up the pace as he reached the curve, letting his muscles relax until his back could effortlessly form into a strange arch.

It felt weird; he had been doing this for weeks on end with no success, but the minute Gon rejoined his seat in the arena, everything seemed to click perfectly. Just having him in the audience, watching with undisguised glee and pride made Killua want to succeed more than ever, to show off everything he could do.

His mind barely registered the descent into and out of a hydroblade, the movement hardwired into his muscles with the music. Such a weird thing, Killua thought to himself as he pulled up a leg for a Biellmann spin; it had taken so long for him to finish memorizing the order of his movements and now he didn’t even have to think about any of them as he skated.

5.

The quiet murmur of music made the pounding in his ears sound even louder, the rush of blood mixing with the noises of his breathing.

4.

Killua glanced at Gon one last time for luck, drinking in the sight of his nervous expression.

3.

He breathed in deeply, his legs tensing in preparation.

2.

Together with a _whoosh_ of momentum from his arms, he pushed off the ice. Killua held his breath as his body flew up, up, around and down…

1.

…and landed on both feet. The impact drove shock-waves up his legs and he wobbled violently, but managed to sway forward a few feet before slowing to a shocked stop.

Holy shit.

He did a backflip.

He _actually_ did it.

Holy _shit._

_“Holy shit!”_ Killua blurted incredulously, turning his head towards Gon who was jumping up and down and looked like he was screaming in excitement. Killua ripped his headphones out, the music suddenly replaced with Gon’s victorious roar.

“Killua, you did it!”

“I did it!”

“I knew you could! I believed in you!”

“I fucking did it!” Killua couldn’t keep the stupid smile off his face, Gon’s expression infecting his. Fuck, he _actually did it!_ He felt like hollering and doing another backflip, but he wasn’t sure if he could land it again, so he settled for cackling loudly and a triple Axel instead while Gon vaulted over the second border just to trip over Killua’s bag on the bench. Hearing the dull _thud_ , Killua’s head snapped towards the sound to see the freckled teenager getting back up unperturbed, smile wider than ever as he bounced on the balls of his feet, hands clutching the outer railing. Killua’s huff of relief broke back into a grin as he skated to the gateway. The skater clambered off the rink, Gon’s arms immediately sweeping him up off the ground to spin him around and Killua couldn’t help the surprised squeak that escaped him and oh my _god_ Gon was kissing him.

Killua froze in surprise, hands still on Gon’s shoulders where they had flown to steady himself. The lips against his stayed there for another second before Gon drew back, face glowing with happiness.

But seeing Killua’s expression of pure shock, Gon’s excited smile vanished. “Killua?”  When he still got no answer, Gon’s eyes grew big and panicked. “Oh no, Killua, I-I’m so sorry, I just got caught up in the moment and-”

Killua on the other hand, was so high on cloud nine that he was barely aware that Gon was even talking. His lips were tingling and his ears were buzzing and he was pretty sure that he would be a boneless mush of pure happiness on the ground if Gon wasn’t _still_ holding him up in the air.

Gon with his strong arms and bright demeanor and fucking perfect face had kissed him and was holding him and _shit, why does he look so upset?_ Killua’s attention was snapped back to earth to hear the string of apologies Gon’s mouth was still spilling, “-please don’t be angry, Killua, I didn’t-”

Killua’s thoughts were whirling frantically as he looked down at Gon and the tears starting to form in the brown eyes. Wait, Gon thought he was angry at him? For kissing him?? Why the _fuck_ would he-

“-I won’t do it again-”

Oh.

Oh _hell_ no.

“-I’m so sorr-” Gon’s voice was cut off sharply as Killua suddenly cupped his face and _dragged_ it upwards into a searing kiss of his own.

A noise of surprise escaped Gon; Killua more felt than heard it, the vibrations tickling against his chest. His eyes fluttered shut and one of his hands wound itself into the spiky mess of Gon’s hair as he kissed him.

And after a few eternal-seeming moments, Gon kissed him _back._

Killua’s nose bumped against Gon’s and his neck and back were getting painful from the uncomfortable angle they were bent into; even so, Killua was pretty sure he had never felt this great as he did right now. Hell, he had felt _great_ a mere minute ago when he finally pulled off a backflip.

Kissing Gon was _amazing._

Gon nibbled on his lower lip and Killua felt himself inhale noisily at the sensation, legs finding their way behind Gon’s back, crossing at the ankles and trying not to stab Gon with the blades. He felt like his world was whirling too fast for words and Killua wondered if it was possible for his heart to break from happiness. He could say he was almost disappointed when they finally pulled apart to catch their breath.

“Wow,” Gon managed to finally wheeze out, ragged voice matching his appearance. His cheeks were flushed, hair mussed from Killua’s hands with a single strand plastered to his forehead; his lips swollen and shiny, and his brown eyes gleaming with _something_ that sent a shiver up Killua’s spine. The skater felt a strange sense of victory knowing _he_ did this to Gon.

“Wow,” Killua agreed breathlessly.

Gon finally lowered Killua to the ground, setting him down gently, but still holding him close. He buried his nose against Gon’s neck, breathing in the scent of grass and painkillers, feeling the race of Gon’s pulse under his skin. They stayed like that for a while, listening to each other breathing.

Gon was the first to break the silence. “So does this mean I can still come watch you practice?”

Killua’s giggles were muffled into Gon’s neck.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost done

“Hey Killua.”

“Hm?”

“Over here, I got something for you.”

Said skater paused in lacing up his skates and turned around. “What?”

Gon motioned him closer, like he wanted to whisper something to the skater. Killua complied, and felt a pair of lips press a quick kiss to his cheek. Spluttering, he pulled back, face was suddenly way too hot again and _dammit Gon, will you stop giggling._

Gon’s laughter got even louder when Killua huffed and turned back to his skates. What an asshole of a boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Killua’s cheeks burned and his hands fumbled with the laces. It had been a week and Killua still hadn’t gotten used to the idea of having Gon as his _boyfriend_ , instead of just staring at the freckled teenager from a distance and letting his heart jump at every single time they moved too close to each other.

But now, _now_ he could hold Gon’s hand whenever he wanted, he could buy him almond lattes whenever he wanted, he could run his hands through that inviting mess of black hair whenever he wanted; and now, _right now_ Killua could finally have his revenge by pulling Gon’s smugly grinning face down over the second railing and kissing him silly. It was an amazing feeling and Killua could have done this for hours; maybe he would one day, but right now, they really did have to stop.

“Gon,” he murmured quietly, pulling back just enough to make his words understandable.

“Mm?”

“We gotta…Illumi’s gonna be here at any minute,” he mumbled, drawing away reluctantly. Gon pouted, (which should have looked ridiculous on a person his age but for some reason didn’t, even though Killua would rather swallow a balloon than admit it out loud) but sat back down after giving him one last chaste kiss, leaning onto folded arms to watch the skater finish lacing up.

Killua skipped his stretches, already warm from before, tied up his hair and stepped onto the ice; halfway through his second warm-up lap, the arena door creaked open, signalling his brother’s arrival. Moments later, to Killua’s surprise, the door swung open a second time and Hisoka strutted in, an extremely disturbing expression on pleasure on his face. He took no notice of the other people present as he sauntered towards the control panel area in the commentary box, vaulting over a row of seats that got in his way and finally disappearing behind the dark glass.

Illumi took the seat a couple of rows behind Gon; he sat there silently, and even though Killua couldn’t see him really well, he knew Illumi was sitting like his usual eerie self, back ramrod straight, hands resting on his knees, face unnaturally blank. A single nod from the older Zoldyck was the only greeting and permission to start he got, while Gon beamed at him a few rows below, shooting Killua a double thumbs-up.

Killua inhaled deeply and forced the butterflies in his stomach to settle as he skated another lap; this wasn’t even an official performance, but it sure felt like one, the importance of his success weighing on his shoulders. He needed to do this, he _needed_ to impress Illumi. This wasn’t even all about Gon; if Illumi dragged him back to his family now, then they would win, and Killua would have to keep training under his family’s guidance until he quit skating for good.

He stopped in the center of the rink, raised his hand and nodded towards the dark glass panel on the commentary box where Hisoka was hopefully now sitting, ready to start his music. It had been fairly easy to convince Leorio to let Killua use the actual sound system for tonight; the hassle had begun when it turned out Leorio had no idea how to operate the switchboard and the one that needed convincing was Hisoka (the asshole had refused for some unknown reason until Killua mentioned that both Gon and Illumi were showing up, after which Hisoka’s smirking had turned just creepy enough to convince Killua to leave without a backwards glance and hope for the best).

Thankfully, music filled the stadium, the pulsing bass signalling the start of his program. Killua’s body started moving as if on instinct; he had practiced this program through so many times that this song was practically a part of him by now, pumping through his veins with the rush of adrenaline.

Seconds ticked by quickly as he skated; Killua counted the time for each movement like he had dozens, hundreds of times before while practicing, his course mapping itself out in his head as he went. Fuck, he knew this so well that he could have just closed his eyes and still done it.

Triple Lutz. Double loop. Double Axel. Triple Salchow.

His stomach churned in anticipation as each jump passed, bringing him closer to the main event; the backflip was exactly twelve seconds away, timed with the _crash_ of the music for maximum effect. It wasn’t an easy move; hell, even after practicing it so many times, he could only land it seven times out of ten and and Killua was certainly starting to feel the pressure of picking something this risky as the most important part of his program. He was vaguely aware that his heartbeat had sped up to match the pace of the song, thudding soundly against his rib-cage with each pulse of the base.

Fuck, he was already this close to it.

5.

The instruments in the background quieted down, leaving only drums and soft vocals.

4.

Gon had gone silent some time ago and Killua could practically _see_ him teetering on the edge of his seat, fingers tightly gripping the plastic.

3.

He inhaled one last time, breathing in the cold air as he bent his knees.

2.

Killua leapt.

1.

The _crack_ echoed throughout the arena even over the sudden throb of music and Killua was fairly certain that if his posture had been any looser, his ankles would have shattered along with the ice under his skates. The skater let out a shaky breath of relief, a grin creeping its way onto his face.

He could vaguely hear Gon cheering in the stands; he flashed a victorious smile at him as he pulled the next corner. He would have to apologize to Leorio later for damaging the ice that much; nothing a few hundred dollars wouldn’t fix though, right? But first, he had to finish this without disappointing Illumi.

That thought sobered him up a bit and his mind turned back to mapping out the course.

Butterfly jump. Double Salchow.   _One last triple Axel…_

Killua landed successfully, slowing down to strike a low pose just as the last chord of the song struck. He stood there, muscles quivering with exertion as he listened to Gon cheer and clap happily, and the faint tapping of another person’s applause. Slowly, he straightened up and turned to face his two-man audience, grin wide on his face. His chest was heaving, hair was falling onto his face and Killua felt so fucking _alive_ as he looked at Gon’s beaming and Illumi’s straight-laced figures. With a jolt, Killua realized that somewhere during his performance, Hisoka had abandoned his post to materialize into one of the back rows behind Gon and Illumi, feet propped up onto the seats in front of him and a lazy smirk scrawled across his features. Catching Killua’s gaze, he snapped a bubble of that toxic red gum and gave a single, slow nod.

What a fucking weirdo.

Illumi on the other hand, looked shocked. Well, the expression didn’t really show up on his face, but Killua could _tell_ Illumi was shocked and that was what counted. He hadn’t been clapping when Killua looked up, so he guessed it had been either Hisoka or Leorio and/or Kurapika from some hidden corner of the rink. He wasn’t really disappointed about that, Illumi didn’t really show any kind of positive reaction to anything, so even getting a good-ish vibe was a feat. At least Killua hoped it was a good-ish vibe.

Killua clambered of the ice and dropped to the bench like a rock; he was honestly too tired to do anything else than to pull his legs up to start undoing his skates, while Gon kneaded his shoulders and chirped praises in his ear. “Killua, that was amazing! _You_ are amazing! I knew you could do it!”  He chattered happily, not giving Killua a chance to answer, so the skater settled for humming contently whenever Gon paused to draw breath. He fell silent as Illumi approached, expression as blank as ever.

Gon shrunk backwards a bit to give them some sense of privacy, but stayed in his seat, eyes flicking curiously between the brothers. Killua pretended to concentrate on doing up his boots instead of looking at Illumi. He wanted to let him wait for as long as fucking possible.

It did buy him some minutes, but there was only so many times you could redo a knot to make it look good, so when it became absolutely clear that there was no more ways to stall, Killua finally ran a hand through his hair and gave his brother a challenging stare.

“So?”

Illumi blinked silently, seemingly choosing his words carefully before speaking.

“That was…a surprise,” he said finally. He leaned his head to one side, eyes staring down at his brother with uncharacteristic emotion. What kind of emotion, Killua wasn’t sure.

“I was not expecting you to execute a backflip with so well, or with so much,” he paused to glance at the ice where Killua’s deep landing marks stood out clearly, “power.”

“The rest of the program was also well put-together, and I do not think it needs any more supervision from father. Your-”

“Wait, does this mean you approve of my program? I don’t have to come back anymore?” Killua interrupted eagerly turning backwards to exchange excited glances with Gon.

Illumi nodded slowly. “I don’t like it, but I must say that you do not have to come back to train anymore, unless father or mother suddenly decide otherwise. Now as I was saying, your Salchows have improved as well. It would be wise to-”

This was where Killua stopped listening. He had found out everything he wanted, and now he felt so _perfect_ ; he _beat_ his brother’s test, he _could_ stay with Gon _,_ and _what the shit_ exactly was that on Illumi’s neck?

While talking, Illumi’s shirt collar had slid downward to reveal a couple of darkened splotches and an impressively deep set of scratches splayed across his collarbones, and what the _fuck_ , was that a _bite mark._

This was wrong. Wrong, disturbing, horrifying, catastrophic, mentally scarring, but for some unknown reason, Killua couldn’t look away. And the longer he stared, the darker the hickeys looked and the angrier the scratches became and that bite mark was _definitely_ redder than it was before.

“-nd that is all I have to say,” Illumi finished, somehow miraculously missing the way Killua’s eyes finally snapped up from his collar area, instead of being on his face the entire time. Killua nodded blankly, not trusting his voice. Illumi nodded back, eyes full of something that was almost…fondness? Impossible.

“You’ll do well, Killu.”

Killua couldn’t believe it. His chest felt lighter than it had in weeks. His creepy, hickey-ed up brother was _okay_ with his program, he didn’t have to go home to train anymore and-

“Just to be clear, I still do not approve of whatever deal you have with this boy,” Illumi said, shooting a dirty glance towards Gon, and Killua’s mood came crashing down again. “The longer you keep him around, the more dangerous he will be to your career.”

“Hey,” Gon interjected, mouth pulling into a tight line.

Illumi ignored him. “He could disrupt your schedule. He could leak your program information. He could make you mess up during an important show; Killua, I still don’t think that him being anywhere near you is a good idea.”

Oh fuck no.

Killua’s fists clenched and he opened his mouth to say exactly _what_ he thought about Illumi’s thoughts, when a very different voice cleared its throat from somewhere and he and Gon both jolted in surprise.

“Oh come now, Illumi, let your brother have his fun. Or can you honestly say that you’re any different?” Hisoka purred, placing a hand on Illumi’s shoulder as he appeared from seemingly fucking nowhere. No seriously, Killua had no idea what direction the guy had even come from, all he knew was that now he was here and apparently defending Gon. The skater was pretty sure this was the first and only time he was ever okay with seeing Hisoka.

Illumi shrugged off the hand and directed a cold stare at the smirking handyman. “Is this really the most appropriate place and time to discuss this?”

Hisoka looked like he took no offense in his words or actions, his grin actually growing wider. “Where and when else are the choices then? You hardly come visit me, and before today, you didn’t return my texts either. One might even say that you were avoiding me, Illumi~”

“One might say a lot of things, it is your decision to believe what you want, Hisoka. All I am saying is that I want is what is best for my little brother and that boy is clearly not it.”

Hisoka held up a finger to stop Killua’s upcoming angry outburst, not taking his eyes off Illumi’s even once. “Mm, you might say so, but I’m sure Gon is more than capable of taking care of your brother. Didn’t the performance today prove that?”

“It proved Killu’s skill, nothing else. Gon might be capable of looking after Killua now, but who knows how much how much damage he could do if he decided to let go of reason,” Illumi retorted unblinkingly. Killua was seriously getting annoyed by them talking like neither Gon nor him were there.

Hisoka’s eyes gleamed mischievously, his voice nearly a purr when he spoke again. “Anybody is capable of doing damage when they let go of reason. Didn’t you prove that yourself, Illumi~?”

Okay, what the fuck _._ Killua _had_ been thankful for Hisoka’s intervention, but this was quickly turning into something way weirder than Killua was comfortable with.

He had no idea if Illumi felt the same way. The two had suddenly stopped talking after Hisoka’s strange remark, silently maintaining the same stance and eye contact they had started when Hisoka showed up a few minutes ago; it was something Killua found unnecessary and unnerving and what the fuck had Illumi blinked even _once_ so far? Killua wasn’t even sure they were _breathing._

Killua turned around to look at Gon who was, like him, glancing between the two grownups with a quizzical expression. As soon as he got his boyfriend’s attention, Killua violently mouthed a ’ _what the fuck’_ at him. Gon shot him back a shrug and an expression just as bewildered as Killua felt.

’ _Do you think we should go?’_ Gon mouthed back.

_‘Absolutely._ ’ Killua nodded desperately.

Neither Hisoka nor Illumi showed any reaction when Killua slowly grabbed his skates and beckoned Gon to move; they stayed like statues, staring eerily at each other while Killua and Gon tiptoed up the stairs as fast as they could, not daring to look back. They didn’t stop until they were up in the main hallway, leaning against the wall for support. Killua peered through the tiny window in the door.

“They still haven’t moved, what the fuck,” he hissed, moving over to let Gon see too. Sure enough, the two grownups were still like they had been; the only change was Hisoka’s smirk looking even wider than before.

“That is really creepy,” Gon agreed, shuddering when he pulled away. “You think we should call someone?”

Killua shook his head and scowled. “No, something tells me we should get the hell away from whatever the hell those two are doing. They look like they’re attack anyone who gets too close and- oh my god it was Hisoka.” Killua stopped dead in his tracks as realization hit him, Gon colliding with his shoulder.

“Huh?”

“It was Hisoka,” Killua repeated, a note of panic creeping into his voice. “Hisoka was probably the one who gave my brother those hickeys.”

“Oh yeah, I saw those too!” Gon exclaimed before pulling a face. “Wait, you think _Hisoka_ and _your brother-_ ”

“I don’t want to think anything about Hisoka and my brother, _ever_ ,” Killua interrupted immediately, shaking his head.

“But why do you think it was Hisoka of all people? Couldn’t it have been literally anybody?”

“Those marks were way too fucking fresh to be more than a couple of hours old at the most; unless you know anybody else around here who Illumi could make act like _that,_ ” Killua gestured a thumb back at the door, “then it’s gotta be Hisoka.”

Killua swallowed, stomach churning.

“Besides, Illumi doesn’t usually smell like cinnamon.”

* * *

 

The phone on Leorio’s desk beeped and buzzed as it received the text, making the two in the desk chair pull apart to look at it.

“Sorry, sorry, that’s mine,” Leorio smiled sheepishly up at the manager in his lap. Kurapika’s eyes flashed in annoyance, but he said nothing as he handed Leorio the phone. The room lit up for a moment as Leorio scanned the screen and frowned at whatever was on it.

“Is something wrong?”

Leorio sighed. “Killua’s complaining about Hisoka again. This time it’s about quote-unquote "tainting my brother”. I swear, that brat just-“ He was cut off as an avalanche of new texts arrived, drowning his voice in notification beeps. He started reading and snorted loudly.

”'fire hisoka’, 'old man i swear to fuck im not kidding this time’ and 'i dont want hisoka as my brother-in-law so help’.  All in caps,“ Leorio read out, raising an amused eyebrow as he showed the screen to Kurapika. The phone buzzed again. ”'also one of the showers is broken and i think hisoka is involved’.“

“We get so many complaints about Hisoka.” Leorio sighed again. "Do we seriously have _nobody_ better for this job than him?”

"Hisoka knows a lot of people; we have gotten some of our best-paying gigs thanks to his information, you know that,” Kurapika said, tapping a finger impatiently against his arm. They _had_ been in the middle of something after all. Leorio seemed to have suddenly remembered that as well, because when Killua’s new complaints started flooding his inbox, he groaned in frustration.

“Just turn it off already.”

“I’m trying, hold on!” Leorio mumbled incoherently under his breath as he fiddled with the buttons. Rolling his eyes, Kurapika snatched the phone from Leorio’s grip (ignoring the yelp of protest) and had the phone switched off and back on the table in a matter of seconds.

Leorio scowled. “I could have done that, you just gotta have a little patie- _mmfhg_!”

Kurapika yanked Leorio upwards by his tie, effectively silencing him with a pair of lips. The man melted into it almost immediately; a moan was drowned against the manager’s mouth as Leorio pressed back greedily. He looked absolutely undone when Kurapika finally let go of him to draw breath, face flushed, chest heaving, pupils blown dark and wide with desire.

“Patience is something I do not have much of tonight,” Kurapika growled lowly, his fingers curling into the front of his partner’s suit.

Leorio’s mouth went dry and he was suddenly very, very glad he had locked the office door earlier.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The cheers were deafening when Killua finally straightened up; especially the ones in the front rows where the people from the Paladiknight Rink were sitting. Leorio was yelling loudly and kept grabbing and shaking the people sitting next to him excitedly while he pointed at Killua; Kurapika looked as proper as ever in his suit, but a wide smile was gracing his face as well as he clapped. A bunch of of the rink’s staff members who Killua liked a bit more, (and Hisoka for some fucking reason) had also tagged along, steadily trying to inch away from Leorio’s sturdy grip as they applauded Killua.

And in front of them all sat Gon, looking more ecstatic than the Zoldyck would have thought possible.

Killua watched the teenager cheering from the stands. A grin made its way onto his face despite his exhaustion and he discovered that the longer he stared at that spot in the audience, the wider his grin got, no matter how hard he tried to fight it down.

No matter what happened next, he was good.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ITS OVERRR!!!
> 
> my tumblr if you guys have anything you wanna complain about

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Rink Full of Stars and All I See is You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8237335) by [Thali_Quinn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thali_Quinn/pseuds/Thali_Quinn)




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